Maybe some of you aren’t familiar with
this now famous youtube clip of a freestyle battle gone so terribly wrong (for the full story, if you got some time, check
here and
here). But the story is a common one. One man, one team begins a journey and gradually picks up some momentum. And suddenly, or not so suddenly, they reach a peak level of performance: handing out L’s to all those that oppose them, and in the process, garnering the respect and admiration of concerted spectators and bystanders alike. At this point, for all intents and purposes, they stylin’. Everything you do, or say, comes out proper.
STYLIN’. And just when you think things are flowing so lovely, just when you think you’re exerting some real influence…just when you think you in that zone where you can’t be touched: you get slapped down like Charlie Murphy back in the
80’s. And there it is. That person or team falls ungracefully with the quickness from the lofty heights which they had once transcended. OK, maybe the heights aren’t always so lofty, but still. A comeuppance, even if it defies all logic, is dealt your way. Such are the hard lessons of life…just like Buddha said. And all you can do is pick yourself back and
reach for the cal…Hood-type freestyle battles aside, there have been a couple of incidences of note where folks were put in their place, after riding high for a minute in the last week. This is the story of those that styled and those that smacked the
*$@^! out of them, bringing a new sense of order to the world.
AFC Championship Game: Really, what more can be said about this. Although I can be put in the category of enjoying Peyton Manning’s repeated tendencies of failing under pressure, who figured this established trend would change now? New England even came out the gate to inflict a first half beatdown so embarrassing (dude, all those commercials and still no TD’s?), it prolly gave Eli pause during his latest karaoke set. Ooo, I could just feel Peyton discombobulating when you saw his whiney-ass turn even more sour after Reggie Wayne failed to draw a pass interference call on a play where he essentially tripped over himself. I mean, only for Patriots could the refs get it so right…
And then the second half collapse began…and progressed. So even after actually giving up the lead, NE still had that last possession. Granted, they had to get a ‘7’ in a minute, but could you ask for a better player in this situation than Tom Brady? In some sick, twisted way, it’s almost like he’d rather win this way…because he can. So you figure it was gonna be Brady stylin’ all over the Indy D, orchestrating another heart-breaking loss when all of a sudden he gets…picked!? When was the last time you can remember Brady getting intercepted while running a (sub) 2 minute drill? Regardless of how odd it may seem for Peyton not to choke, the ending was a fitting one. New England clearly gave this one away, as they had no answer for Indy’s version of the no huddle. But in the end, I don’t know what involved worse decision-making, that pick or Belichick’s insistence on repeatedly running third and not short draw plays…(and if anybody was still in doubt over what an ass Belichick is, look up some footage of that post game interview)
"Lose the big one?...(cough...cough)...they must not know 'bout me..."
NFC Championship Game: The story that writes itself. The Saints; The NEW America’s Team (a better story without the TO…). A city that has gone through unparallel hardships, as far as North America is concerned, cheering on their home squad with a history as a perennial loser. But these Saints are revamped and reinvigorated. They feature exciting young players. And they were on their way to a Super Bowl, only having to beat an over-rated team with a quarterback that has been most recently described as competent at best. And the game remained surprisingly close in the first half, in spite of New Orleans’ tendency to fumble every other play. That is, until…the Bears D shut the door right in their collective faces. For all the talk of Reggie Bush inciting Urlacher with his pre-endzone taunting on his spectacular TD run, New Orleans just did not look like the Saints of the past few weeks. Coming into this game, they were stylin’…now, they have to watch the Black Coaches Bowl and imagine what could have been.
Top of the EPL: Ok…so we got, for all intents and purposes, a two horse race in the Premiership. Although Man U is a couple wins up on Chelsea, points are still at a premium at this stage of the season. So what happens this weekend? The distant third and fourth place teams rise up to bitch slap the leaders in their respective matches: Liverpool dominates the Blues 2-0 at Anfield and fookin’ Man U go down 2-1 on late goals at Arsenal. A flawed Man U team looks to cruise to a Premiership title if only because of the discord over at their London rivals. Hmmm, let’s go through the self-destruct checklist: egomaniacal manager being second guessed by his mishandling of his excessively talent-laden roster. Check. Rumours of underachieving superstar transfer acting as a spy for the owner in the locker room. Check. Star central defender/glue still sidelined…Uno! Duos! Treis! (the Calderon Triple…)
As for Man U, Ferguson should (just shut the hell up…SHUT UUUUUUPP!!!…uh, and) just be happy with the league title, because clearly his squad has no chance at the greater glory of the continental trophy: not only is the talent at his disposal less than world class in the middle and at the back, apparently there’s some larger conditioning issues that need to be addressed…
I don't wanna hear one single word out of you...fookin' prick!
Raps Quest for .500: You think I could leave them out of this? So the Raps string together a few wins against average to below-average teams in our yard no less, as part of this recent homestand/quest for status as Lig Seinfeld. And the minute they play a quality team, in this case Utah, they get the taste of Atlantic Division/Eastern Conference mediocrity slapped out their hopeful mouths. Yes, Deron Williams is nice as hell, and although he’s fallen back from any sort of MVP association, Carlos ‘Let’s shake on it cuz I learned my values from Coach K’ Boozer is a menace. But the star of that Jazz team is its Sloan-run system and I couldn’t think of a greater contrast for our one ‘pick n roll set’ pony of an offense. Besides which, letting teams like Utah smack them around at home leads to the sort of comme-ci comme-ca respect that haunts the Raps when they play someone like Dallas tight. (some one should have told the refs that screwing Toronto over is not the same as making-up calls for Dallas from the Finals, just cuz we still paying Alonzo…)
"See how it all evens out...for me. Now that's .500 ball. What you know 'bout that?"
The Nets Young Joc-in’ It: Yup. Meet me in the swamp. They goin’ dooooowwwwn. Look out for Joumana…she’ll take you dooooooooownnn.
Why is it when the parents fight, it's always the biggest heads that have to suffer...
Yes, that was a little played. But so are the Nets. How is this team even winning any more? Why are they trying to win, when there is no way they will making past the first round anyways? Just blow up the team now: trade Vince for Pau already. Where would this team be without MIKKI MOORE?!!!
Yeah, so they strung together a little streak to get to .500. Now they start a swing out west and what happens? Their third leading scorer, resident Cuttino and locker room brawler (?!) gets surgery and is out for at least 6 weeks (yeah...right). Down Krstic and RJ, they go out to play a Sacramento team in complete disarray, run up a 20 point lead, only to lose in the dying seconds by one. Their best player, the one with the impending divorce from a psycho, belligerent ex-Budweiser model, puts up a triple double but allows his opposite number, one M. Bibby (currently mired in a year of career lows…) to score the Kings’ last 15 points of the game. If only he could put that restraining order on Mike…or is he thinking he should save it for the playoffs…you know, just in case he’s in a position to get torched by this year’s Anthony Johnson…
Oh and where was Vince, you may ask? Putting up 8 points on 4-11 shooting with 5 turnovers, including 2 in the last few minutes. And you wonder why they didn’t invite him out to the hanger (that’s a good look by Joey for pointing out the facts).
"Can you believe it Nenad?..They even let Sheed go to the Hanger. SHEED!!"During the preseason, this squad was expected to challenge the rest of the Eastern Conference…uh…leaders. These cats should just pack it in…I mean, you don’t see Jay-Z trying to put out another video and go promote his album no mo’…take the ‘L’ and let it go. Y’all were just stylin’ in theory.
Jack Bauer – there’s only 19 hours left! : So the Chinese thought he was ‘stylin’ on them and he got his wig pushed back with two years of scars and non-speaking. Then he had to deal with Curtis ‘stylin’ on his captive. Now, Jack has to deal with his very own fam ‘stylin’ on him, too? His own brother, part of the blue tooth gang? I must admit, torturing said brother for info was a good start to dealing with issues…plus, son hit the wifey off back in the day (who told the brother to marry a Bauer groupie anyways, Jason Kidd?) Welcome back, gangsta Jack.
"I got the cal on you...plus your son bares a striking resemblance...to me..."
"Can you believe it Nenad?..They even let Sheed go to the Hanger. SHEED!!"
