Won’t Front…a Little Shook…Even After Seeing Nate Block Yao

So after spending the day playing reverse psychology and still having my 4 year old nephew repeatedly waive off my input like a wild, fire-balling rookie pitcher would a veteran catcher calling for some off-speed…I returned home to learn about the whole Michael Richards debacle. Sadly, I couldn’t have just left it at a “Fuck-a-Kramer” (as the footage and audio was bad enough), but I decided, for some reason, to subject myself to reading some of the message board of the site that allegedly ‘broke the news’. Wow.

Let’s just say the onsite poll had a 40% pro-Kramer count…seemed low for the board. Very low. And you know how anonymous postings bring outs everyone’s emboldened, uncensored self. It was as if Richard’s spiritual soul mates over at UCLA Campus Security were putting in their two cents all at once. You think someone would be happy that the O.J. thing got put down…but alas…it seemed like they just wanted to brood about how it’s OK for black folks to drop the n-bomb and not them (truly a white person’s burden…holla Curtis).
It’d almost be moot at this point to mention the bizarrely pathetic contrition made by Richards live by satellite during Seinfeld’s time on last night’s Letterman. Half the crowd had no clue what was going on, laughing nervously at what they thought was some sort of bit, only to have Jerry scold them with his Seinfeldingly smug ‘stop laughing…this is not funny’. Wow. Not only did this make it seem even more ridiculous (as if that were possible) but it also made you feel for the little Seinfelds who endure this delivery during actual parenting. Well, at least they rich…

Did I mention I saw the ‘new’ Fergie video in between all of the madness? I can’t help but think her going solo (by going solo, I mean existing in a public manner) is somehow related to all the mayhem in some, no doubt (yeah…her holla-back ass too) sinister, way. Hell, why not throw in pre-Midterm Election, Bush-dynasty U.S. politics to complete the cypher. Give me a sec to, you know, finish the sigh…(quick count...put together Bush, his advisors, Fergie, UCLA cops, 50 (you think they next to each other by coincidence?), Kramer and OJ…yup, juuuuuust a sec..)

Damn you BEP’s!!! For…uh…enabling this trick!
(‘Where’s the love’ you ask...left right after ‘Fallin’ Up’…maybe ‘Joints and Jams’ for Don. So why’d you have to do it, Will?…oh right…that large fortune you’ve amassed…sheeeeeit, what did OC say…right, his last project was a Japan-wide release…)

So now my faith in humanity is shaken and I haven’t even mentioned that perpetual downer that is the, well, your Toronto Raptors. Well, if I could find out ‘whom’ they belong to, maybe I could convince them to do a little tweaking…
As far as yesterday’s predictions: Boozer, big game. Check…and then some (14-16 from the floor…whaaa? Go beige, indeed.). Strong third quarter setting up a predictable fourth quarter let down. Big ol’ check. Inexplicable Sam Mitchell post game quote: albeit this one concerning the non-TO during the last ticks (…at least you got this one right Sam, we certainly would have NEVER gotten a better shot coming out of the TO than we did running the frantic mayhem version of the ‘Mitchell’ set). Check. And mate.
Clock is winding down on Sam…by now Colangelo must be on the verge of seething at what his inherited coach is doing with the roster he assembled. Even Bargnani’s career high couldn’t sooth that pain…
In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been droning on about what is a clear lack of production from our swing players. I really believe their poor court presence translates into the lack of consistent scoring we’ve been getting, the inability we’ve had at diverting defensive attention from Bosh and the team willingness to falter down the stretch in general. So here’s the proof: I present the combined averages of Parker, Jones and MoPete during the extended West Coast losing-fest (remember, this is the production of 3 players):

28.0 pts/gm on 35.7% shooting from the floor and 25.4% from 3.

That’s an average of about 9.3 a game from each. I then took in the stats from the top 3 swing players from each of the West Coast opponents, who numbers were noticeably dragged down by a Kirilenko-less Utah group. The opponent’s swing-men combined to play 8 more total minutes than our hapless group (basically a scratch)…and here are their numbers (again, a 3 player average):

46.2 pts/gm on 47.5% shooting with 36.6% from three.

It should be noted that the Raptor trio took 18 more 3’s during the course of the 4 games (to make the same amount…go figure) and the opponent’s threesomes got to the line 18 more times, making 11 more free throws (not surprisingly). Guess that’s what happens when you run your guys some plays…
A difference maker…ummmm…especially if we’re losing by 7.5 a game. Fine. I’m kicking at fallen men. On to rhetorical questions. So is it the talent…or is it the guy coordinating the talent? All I know is that compared to Kramer, Sam’s still doing all right by me…

Oh, shout out to Brooks…for enduring his first major athletic injury and waiting to do it in his post-30 years…stay off the torn quad (ouch…)…regardless of how bad you want in on the American…