Welcome to the first installment of "What Would YOU Say to Fassy Vince?"

I've avoided getting to this is since Wednesday but first things first. I have to address another piece of business: Fuck the Globe and Mail. Two times.
There. And now for our premiere episode of "What would YOU say to Fassy Vince." You thought that our former hapless superstar who seeming left our hearts and minds was gone for good? I'm going to avoid the "jilted lover still watching the hot chickenhead-ex still find ways to taunt and generally wreck havoc in said former loyal companion's life" metaphor, because it's too easy, and sadly, too appropriate. So why is this happening to us? Are we not good basketball fans? What does Marty York have to prove, actually printing the super-Sihk basketball fan/car salesman/VC camp member (the order is interchangeable) Nav Bhatia's contrived gossip? Why is FLOW broadcasting this? Will Vince really ever come back!!? Are we being played out, here? And what would YOU have to say to fassy Vince, given the chance?
Now take a deep breath. Fortunately, our organization is in the hands of a real professional, so even if this chatter gets louder as the season winds down, I'm pretty sure Colangelo will have a handle on it. So the rest is really just speculation on our part, and politics on VC's. Lemme 'splain.
Vince will opt out of his contract after this year to test the market; only a disaster would negate this from happening. So where could he sign? Keep in mind this, wherever he signs, he will mostly likely be looking for guaranteed long-term money. This may the last time in his career where he will have this type of leverage.
OK, what about NJ? What about them? They have certain Bird rights that will enable them to feasibly make a large offer. The thing is, they are already on the tab for big money with JKidd and RJ. They have a franchise move to consider, which could be all the more expensive with the knocking down of housing in Brooklyn to make room for a stadium-type issues. So how much would they be willing to drop even if they could avoid luxury tax? And with these issues, would the Nets really want to put that money into Vince, with other free agents looming on the horizon, particular one would be King who is continually shouted out in the lyrics of a certain minority owner. It's chess here, not checkers (time to hold up your 'diamond' and show 'em what you got...no, no...I'll pass...oh and anyone who buys that champagne for more than a bill is an idiot...yeah, cuz that really is real gold on the label...stoopid.).
Let's include the fact that Vince may not want to commit to the Nets, a franchise who's championship window with its current roster is closing about as fast as the point guards whizzing by JKidd on a daily basis. If he's gonna settle somewhere long-term, it should be on a team that's on the come-up. A young team with dough to spend.
So everybody, let's point at the obvious first choice: Orlando. For those not knowing, Vince's marriage is reportedly on the rocks, and his soon-to-be ex-wife intends to relocate their child to Orlando. Hmmm. Vince's people say he already has a mansion there (currently, in the pre-alimony sense). And Grant Hill's ginormous contract just happens to finally come off the books after this season on a team pay-roll already amongst the Lig's lowest. Seems like a go. In fact, seems like the only real option at this point.
So how do Vince's peoples drive up the demand, without expecting Vince, to say, play better. How about finding another suitor. Someone near the bottom of the Lig payroll, but a team with a future, somewhere that's workable; where he has some inside at. Somewhere gullible enough to be used in a ruse, perhaps (Who works through a radio station, anyways? Can you really be a self-proclaimed man of the people and not be in American right-wing politics?)...
Ha, ha ha. Sigh. Well, we're smarter now with Colangelo GMin' (could you imagine Babcock re-acquiring Vince...he probably woulda tried to do it). But why is this out there? How is this even plausible? Well, believe it or not, Vince actually likes Toronto, peoples. It was mostly good to him. Management cratered to every whim. Super-star treatment fo sho. He had a club, dammit. And socially, for a guy who was (cough...SOFT...cough) not even close to matching the exploits of former Raptor lotharios (how many people knew someone 'dating' Damon Stoudamire? Hell, even Chris Childs got down like a villain...), the Dot provides an inviting comfort zone. Our Toronto women's blindingly soft spot for any American male, never mind a real baller, finally has a practical use - it just ain't the same in NYC, ladies...can't just ride on a name out there, you got to show and prove. Case in point, a former legend on the scene out there was Malik Sealy (R.I.P.) . Don't know who he was? My point exactly. And to you real diggers, working hard to take a rich man's money, my apologies cuz its these other amateur hefers that put a black eye in the game. Now get back to that pole or internet 'photo' shoot...
I'm trying to say that Vince will be single, ladies. And that's a relationship-shook Vince, a baby-daddy Vince...he'd definitely appreciate a comfort zone, a chance to reacquaint himself with some old safe relationships perhaps...
I mean, the Dot does get some lifestyle points, but don't get me wrong, it wouldn't mean a MoPete off-balance three if our organization didn't have the money to spend. Alvin Williams is off the books and no Zo either as of next year (now ain't that a bitch). We still gotta lock up Bosh, then decide what to do with MoPete and Freddie Jones (and Calderon and Parker). But right now, we're around 3rd last in the Lig in payroll. Theoretically, something could be worked out with Vince.
But really, is there a shot? Even if it's half-court heave? Well, for all those enamored in any way by this (shout out to Don and his baby on the inside and workaholic Tatez and his soon-to-come-out seed), here's one guaranteed buzz kill: Sam Mitchell. If he's still coaching, this talk, even the most remote of prospects, is swimming with the fishies. Jam done. Knowing Vince, in this scenario, he'd try and assert himself with management to get (if still around after this season, would surely inherit the nickname, 'Teflon') Sam offed. That's just not the sort of behaviour we'd want out of player expected to defer to Bosh. And really, that would be the best thing about having Vince around again...watching him realize he's not the franchise anymore...
But I'll leave that to another, slower day...how would it all work out for the Raps if Vince were around? Hmmm...we'll have to leave that for our next installment of "What would YOU say to Fassy Vince?"...
Until then, Bucks tonight...I'm not saying must win, but it is a conference oponnent who we will be battling a playoff spot for. And Charlie V is back in the house (begin feel good vibes). God, I hope somebody at least tries to make Redd work for his...