Rolling Stones Top 100 of '06

So I caught this link of Rolling Stone's top joints of 2006. I'll give RS credit at trying to keep the list diverse: hip hop, well, rap and RNB had more than their share of presence all up and down the list. Keep in mind that a publication like RS is inherently in love with any musical trend-setters and will cozy up to anyone who they feel will make a dent in pop culture, even if they orginally come from the reclusive confines of the aforementioned genres. The big-hitters were somewhat predictable and even artists that didn't have that big of an '06 still find a way to get love (cough....Pharrell...cough). Can't really front on the list to much...at the end of the day, more made mention than not. I mean, is RS gonna give, say, Rhymefest a shout out just cuz? (however, surprisingly, no Busta, Snoop or Game in sight...maybe Curtis got to them on that last one...) With that in mind, here's my take on the tunes I'm more familiar with that did make it...

99. Baby Let’s Have a Baby Before Bush Do Somethin’ Crazy – The Coup with Silk E: Can’t really front, a militant conscious hip-hop group from the Bay doing a soul ballad protest song. That combination is just too much for any liberal, hipster inclined music critic to overlook…what about Paris tho?(see, too much ‘Devil’ talk does hurts feelings)

98. Take Control – Amerie: Not exactly ‘1 thing’, but again, why not put it at #98? Like Clue. Do remember...

95. Don’t Feel Right – The Roots: First nod to one of the lost ones of ’06: can’t really be mad they giving the Roots some shine. ‘Long Time’ was the joint on Game Theory tho…

94. Stuntin’ like My Daddy – Lil’ Wayne and Birdman: Referencing the Lil Wayne bandwagon…we know, RS…you know some thangs (apparently from watching BET). But why not chose a good Weezy song…like Shooter (giving Alan Thicke’s son some shine too).

91. Buttons – The Pussycat Dolls feat. Snoop: Man, even I think there’s a better Pussycat Dolls song out there to bring up than this…if you HAD to bring them up.

89. Show Me – John Legend: Didn’t personally get all the way down with this album, as John’s sound is moving away from contemporary RNB and Kanye-isms: he should be applauded, but it’s just that he decided to straddle that late 60’s sound, from hippie rock to Motown-y vibes. Very adult contemporary (that’s where you lost me…). But RS chose one of the more poignant mid-tempos to represent…fine.

82. London Bridge – Fergie: This is where I really don’t understand white people. I thought they’d all be loving it…making her the female JT and all? Seems this newer JJ Fad-inspired release gets more love. #82 has got to be considered a disappointment for white chick rap lovers everywhere…just gotta keep the fingers crossed. Stefani…you next to be disappointed.

81. Temperature – Sean Paul: Well, there was a video…up tempo riddim…RS shows mainstream knows more reggae than just Bob, can do dancehall too…

80. I’m Free – Pimp C: What the…? Why include this mix tape fodder? Houston was basically ’05…so is it just because he used an unlikely 80’s pop sample…why do mainstream critics luuv that so?

79. It’s Going Down – Yung Joc: This dude is like Paul Wall/Mike Jones were last year…so why not? Culturally relevant, pop wise. Fine RS…I knoooow you see it.

77. I’m Trapped in the Drive-Thru – Weird Al Yankovic: Beyond parody…R Kelly is built for parody. Is this the most tame take possible on the biggest unnecessary indulgement recording in the Pied Piper’s already bizzaro catalogue? Does this have to be here to remind us of the R’s lingering presence in the music world?

70. I Gotcha – Lupe Fiasco: Good mention…but coulda done better here. Much. Hell, Daydreamin’ had Jill Scott AND a video. RS still on Pharrell’s nutsack…too bad he ain’t working with JT no mo’.

69. Trouble – Jay-Z: Well, have to reference the big willy rap icon release…and they even took a slight dig at its lack-luster reception (es tu, RS…)? Is this really one of the nastiest Dr. Dre beats in years? RS should never speak for the ‘heads’…ever.

67. Déjà Vu – Beyonce feat. Jay-Z: Again, RS tries to get a clue…but. Reference the diva icon release, sure…but any 14 year old girl could tell you ‘Irreplacable’ is the anthem. RS said it felt like a Ferrell/Gaye duet for the hip-hoppers…huh? Just say it was a Mary/Meth-type collabo and leave it alone.

64. Put Your Records On – Corinne Bailey Rae: Heard this on a TV show the other day. The Gap is prolly kicking themselves for not selling her out for their X-Mas commercials…well, they still got Common. Good for house party, wine n cheesin’…no, you good RS.

59. Bossy – Kelis feat. Too Short: Again, big club tune…artist is known to do cross-over stuff (not EPMD, but the genre kind). And the ladies have a beat to dig a front to…(that’ll work). You good, here too RS.

58. Idlewild Blues – Outkast: Boy, RS luuuv’s it when Andre sangs. Everyone knows the best material from this album was the non-Andre stuff…gotta take those ‘Love Below’-tinged glasses off. Idlewild doesn’t need mention in general, but if you do mention the album…gotta push that ‘Train’ joint…that is, if you actually like music.

57. Love Me or Hate Me – Lady Sovereign: Makes sense for RS, trying to be a 'cool' identifier…pushing avant-garde wack rap that limps in as underground/altenative: does anybody but Jay-Z (who signed her) and maybe some British types, think she’s worth anything?If you wanted a female emcee for the sake of it, couldn’t you just put Jean Grae here…she got skills...she even light-skinned…shame.

56. Promiscuous – Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland: I’m sorta like, ‘only’ #56? We get it…it’s funky cuz Force MD’s coulda sang over it. The one Timbaland joint Ginuwine can’t be mad at not being on...(well, maybe SexyBack too...)

54. Kilo – Ghostface Killah: Yes, you down RS. You know what they like in the underground. ‘Shakey Dog’ is Ghost at his finest, and woulda been a better representation…but can’t really complain at any Ghost drop. More fish?

51. Black Sweat – Prince: This album seemed to be virtually ignored by the mainstream, but this video did get some burn. Gotta mention Prince when you can.

50. My Love – Justin Timberlake feat. T.I.: This is why Ginuwine is furious. Yes, it’s the wonder boy who gets more passes than a fastidious hall monitor. And no mention of T.I. as the ‘hot guest rapper providing necessary street cred’? Psshht. Shine is for the Golden Child. #50 seems good, since JT has, crudely put, ‘less black’-sounding releases out there. I’m riding with Alan’s son still ('sharing the laugh-tuh-a-huh!')…apparently RS is not. By the way, here's some get-back: "Ginuwine...meet Pharrell...uh, Pharrell...Ginuwine".

48. He Said, She Said – Shawnna feat. Ludacris: I think they meant to put ‘Gettin’ Some’ here and mistyped. More mixtape fodder on a top 100 list? Boo, RS. If anything, ‘Gettin’ Some’ deserves a mention because unlike ‘Bossy’, this is a song where you can identify a girl’s front by how she mouths the words: I mean, is she really ‘gettin’ some’? Or is her man just ‘going down’ on her…It’s the ‘gully’ litmus test for the ladies.

45. Yo (Excuse Me Miss) – Chris Brown: Best MJ impersonation of the year…and the boy Usher is burning somethin’ fierce...somewhere. Props to RS (yeah…I typed it) for choosing this over his other blah material.

44. Hustlin – Rick Ross: I think the mainstream media has coined some term for this…like ‘Dope Rap’ or ‘Coke Rap’…somethin’. Sure…big tune…regionally diversifies things (MIA…bebe). Whatevers...people liiiiiiiike. Rowsssssss…

41. Me & U – Cassie: Ex-model, filmed a bootleg video in the Dot on a song which is the RNB corollary to ‘Getting’ Some’ (‘Givin’ Some’...?). What’s not to like? Oh yeah…her singing. Whatever haters! You don't sing live on a record. Seriously, honey is a genuine trailblazer…one of the first of the ‘My Space’ generation to blow up (and we'll be paying for years to come...with our ears!). Let’s be honest, it comes down to this: you’d hit. I mean, Puff did…

39. Dance, Dance – Fall Out Boy: HA!HA!HA!HA! DON LUUUV FALL OUT BOY! YOU GOT EXPOSED PLAYA! HA!HA!HA! Oh and thank your wife for the electric toothbrush…it’s like a party in my mouth and only the Colgate is invited…

36. SOS – Rihanna: RS couldn’t stay away from the Soft Cell sample. But really, is there a singer out there that’s gets more love AND shade than this one? Is the Bajan Beyonce Lite on the scene simply to be heaped with your praise and alternately rattled with your disses? But most importantly…you think Jay hit?

32. Do It to It – Cherish: Must reference snap music…new...musical...trend. RS does it in the most mundane way possible. Did this have to be at #32? RS watches THAT much BET?

29. Smiley Faces – Gnarls Barkley: This year’s Andre 3000. RS luuuuv’s them some crossover chic. The mainstream darlings are here…and how could you not like Cee-Lo’s vocals? This is the second most catchy joint from the album. Of course, no mention of the best relationship line of the year (“say for instance, my girlfriend, she bugs me all the time/ but the irony of it all, is that she loves me all the time…” and I first thought it was not ‘bug’ and ‘love’, but ‘love’ twice…maybe this is saying too much about me but THAT would’ve been deep…)

21. SexyBack – Justin Timberlake: I mean, at least this wasn’t a top 10 choice. Fortunately, the love did not reach over the top proportions for this: I know what Tim was trying to do here…still thought this was wet with the wack juice (JUICE!). The whole thing is so far beyond me…but so not. Just can’t get with it on any level. And really, this is one reason why K is set to take Hollywood (I hate that 'weird' term...naaaah) by storm and that it could never be me. Uh…besides the whole acting ‘talent’ thing…

18. Ain’t No Other Man – Christina Aguilera: I wanted to get with Premier’s instrumental here…but the whole ‘prohibition-horn’ based breakbeat never really caught me. I didn’t think this song got huge love either…RS, they luuuuv them some producers willing to cross…

14. Ghetto Story – Cham: I’m sure the Alicia Keys re-do caught RS and they wheeled it back to the original. RS makes reference to its political overtones back in the Yard and that, no doubt, sealed the deal for its high placing on the list.

8. Wamp Wamp (What It Do) – Clipse with Slim Thug: The mainstream hipsters luuuuuv them some Clipse. No idea this would be here. More Pharrell-tip riding, clearly (hey RS, why not put one of HIS songs on the list…oh, you still like pushing the cutesy Benetton diversity of the ‘Neptunes’ concept). But nihilistic, unapologetic, materialistic, pusher-glamourizing lyrics get love like this? Really? Does RS even know what they’re saying? Is this some form of white guilt?

5. Vans – The Pack: Got big MTV buzz here (part controversy). Infectious, hyphy-ish beat. Lyrical advertisement for Vans. I guess if the benefactor was a big corporation (Nelly…what kicks u got?), this would be considered evil.

4. What You Know – T.I.: Big tune. RS gives their respect. He out-sold everyone in rap this year…I mean, that’s what it’s all about, right? Still, couldn’t be angry at the song…even got me to download the movie. Which wasn’t terrible, by the way…

3. Ridin’ – Chamillionaire: People actually felt this was a political song. No, really (Broooooks…). Catchy joint, catchy buzz phrase on the chorus. Some might replace ‘catchy’ with ‘corny’. Apparently, they’ll play this at bars: Nelly sing-song hook…but gullier. Personally liked the T.I. better (who wouldn’t)…but can’t believe this is at #3.

1. Crazy – Gnarls Barkley: The juggernaut. RS said it…this year’s ‘Hey Ya’…although much more soulful by anyone’s standards. Mainstream luuuuv’s them some cool negros…in the spirit of the originators of Rock N Roll. Knew this was the tune when I first heard it waaay back when…but didn’t think it would go here. Props to the funky duo. But Cee-Lo, did you have to 'eff' Goodie Mob to blow up?