Top Dot Runnings Bangers of 2006

A short precursor: my natural aversion to commercial radio makes music selection a personal priority, if not agenda: as long as it’s not on the TV, I’m choosing what I listen to at all times. And for music to get into my rotation, it has to have the sort of qualities that earn its repeated play: I’m not saying this to be all high post. It’s just that having grown up at a time where hip-hop flourished artistically at an incomparable level to its contemporary form, I have a very low tolerance for ignorance, repetitive uninspired themes and half-assed rhyming. Not to say I can’t enjoy, say, Jeezy in tiny doses, but prolonged listening is clearly out. So there may be some big tunes missing from this list, but hey…if you know a rapper is really, really...uh...derivative, there’s only so long that tune can stay in the mix…

1. T.I. – What You Know About That: Unavoidable and undeniable. One of the biggest ’06 tunes. And for the record, New-New’s mad cute but if that one eye ain’t lazy, it certainly lacks ambition.
2. Lupe Fiasco – Hurt Me Soul: Off record, he seems to struggle with pretension, but on record, he’s a focused man. Not a booming track, but makes you say true with his lyrics. Inspired.
3. Juggaknots – 30-Something: It’s been said elsewhere, but I’ll say it again: Juggaknots 30-Something > Jay-Z 30-Something
4. Nas feat. Jay-Z – Black Republicans: The most intriguing track of the year is realized as a blazer. With the instrumental up for grabs, Nas makes it clear that despite undergoing a Jordanesque falling off, Hov was never lyrically Jordan……is that fresh ether in the air?
5. NYOIL – Y’all Should All Get Lynched: Somebody needed to say it, who figured they’d pop up on myspace. Sensitive rap thugs…go seek out your hugs.
6. The Roots feat. Peedi Peedi – Long Time: The album gets better with every listen; this melodic joint was the first that really caught me…
7. Outkast – The Train: Hands down best song from the Idlewild album. And no Andre. Hmmmmm.
8. Ghostface Killah – Shakey Dog/You Know I’m No Good/Greedy Bitches feat. Shawn Wigs and Redman: A very good year for Ghost. These three songs showed why. And is there emcee alive better at calling out a bum chick?
9. The Game – Compton(Will I Am)/Remedy(Just Blaze)/1-800 Homicide (Hi-Tek): My west coast fill came from these Game dominated tracks, mostly because of the beats. Will’s joint bangs, Jus’ reworks a PE classic and Hi-Tek does a ‘Chronic’ double-take…
10. Mr. Lif feat. Murs – Murs iz my manager: Slept on back-packer…a really good non-major release…Boston’s finest brings the lyrics in abundance.
11. Xzibit – Scandalous Bitch: My favourite track from his lack-luster ’06 effort, putting the girl he and Usher shared on blast.
12. Lil’ Wayne – Show Me What You Got Freestyle: My face-to-face with Weezy-mania. Does what Hov couldn’t, makes the track hit me in the head ‘like Vonage’. Now if he could just stay away from Baby, in and out of the studio…
13. Pharoahe Monch – Push: P.M. brings it back to the essence with this soulful ode that finds him movin’ on like Stevie…sangs like the Organized days.
14. Obie Trice – Cry Now: Although I wasn’t really feeling the Jamaican joint…an under-rated album for an under-rated lyricist. This song bumps…
15. Rich Boy – Throw Some D’s: Yeah, I know what you’re gonna say…but this bumps. Besides, once I saw the video, it was a rap: for all those cats from back in high school, watch the dude cheezin’ with the white girls in his ride. That is how you get back at the Devil…
16. Lil Keke feat. Bun B and Paul Wall – Chunk Up the Duece: Not Houston’s year, but a Houston burner still…
17. AZ – Sit ‘Em Back Slow feat. M.O.P./ Rise and Fall Feat. Little Brother/The Format: Another solid AZ album that will be slept on. A lyricist that actually got with Primo for a track (The Format). He spits with Little Brother and the M.O.P. joint wins by being appropriately gully…
18. Clipse feat. Slim Thug – Wamp Wamp/Keys Open Doors: The big single was a highly desired instrumental in the industry: took some time but grew on me. The second features the predictable slanging-oriented pun. Clipse just on some focused, unadulterated, lyrical ignorance here. At the end of the day, just make sure you throw some D’s on that bitch…
19. Rhymefest - Dynomite: The album was a solid effort from Kanye’s ghostwriter…this joint is a good platform for his lyrical dexterity…
20. Too Short feat. Snoop and Will I Am – Keep Bouncin’: Very slept on track. And Snoop is in peak form for his verse. Speaking of which, I thought his album was good, but not much jumped out at me. This song is way better than ‘Candy’…
21. X Clan – Weapon X: Has been kicking around for a minute. Brings back the D-Nice beat with some inspired rhetoric from a righteous past…R.I.P. Professor X.
22. Little Brother – Speed Racin’ feat Skyzoo and Chaundon/ Boondock Saints feat. L.E.G.A.C.Y. and Chaundon/ Life of the Party: Phonte drops some fire verses on the first two mixtape offerings. Life of the Party is what it says it is…Little Brother stays present in ’06.
23. De La Soul feat. Supa Dave West – Respect: Newly released single…old De La goodness.
24. Lord Finesse feat. Grand Puba – Real Talk: Also dropped recently. Exactly as the title states…
25. Murs – Yesterday: I probably preferred the first 9^th collabo album more than this year’s offering, but this is what reality rap should be…
26. Method Man – They Say feat. Lauryn Hill/Walk On feat. Redman: No promotion for this album. As much as I would put this on Jay, I think somebody just wanted to cop the video money…Meth spits real with Lauryn on the hook and reunites with Red for a banger.
27. Papoose feat. Nas – Across the Tracks: This may have been released late last year, but I don’t care. The soulful Curtis Mayfield-sampled track does wonders for a lyricist, and both artists represent. Have a good evening.
28. 9^th Wonder feat. Jean Grae, Mos Def and Memphis Bleak – Crooklyn Dodgers III: 9^th provides the backdrop and they make the Crooklyn thing work one mo gain…
29. K-Os – Electrik Heat – The Seekwill/Aquacityboy/Sunday Morning: Canada's own mini-Mos Def always seeks to push artistic boundaries but sometimes it’s just nice to hear a man spit. And is it really necessary to include a singing interlude on every track? My man Johl pointed out ‘Sunday Morning’ is being used on a NFL pre-game show…I guess artistes gotta eat too…
30. Black Sheep – B-Boys Theme/Grew up/Sunshine: Most of you prolly didn’t know, but Black Sheep released an EP this year. Anybody who knows me, knows I have a soft spot for Dres: I still think he can out rhyme...most. The listed tracks were the ones that particularly caught my ear.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year...see y'all on the otherside.

22 RnB (or RnB Type) Songs DotRunnings Didn’t Hate + 1 in 2006

I admit, my ear doesn’t really take well to modern RnB and pop…at least the type peddled by mass media. It’s just how I was raised. And this was the year of slick producer-stylized beats holding down the seemingly interchangeable artists. In particular, Timbaland reused that 80’s sound on various levels to make a huge splash and get whatever RnB-type artist that C.T.C. on the pop charts. Predictably, I wasn’t really feeling it at all. I mean, it was cool that Nelly could get in touch with her sexy and JT could standup Pharrell for a whole album (…and no Weezy/Baby make-up?), both while riding with that guy better known for working with Missy and Ginuwine. And as ambivalent I am to these singers, I just wasn’t feeling the music…no hate cuz I’m certainly not mad. But I know who is mad…come on G, weren’t you the one singing about ‘differences’?

So here’s what did get burn in the ride, on the RnB tip…hey and some of it even made it to the radio:

1. Jaheim – Like A DJ: Can you get with some metaphorical RnB? Story of a record just trying to get some spins

2. Carl Thomas feat. Brandy – Somethin’ Bout U: Mid tempo single released mid year with Brandy on the hook

3. Ne-Yo – Get Down Down Like That: Really for all the mens with wifeys, I bypassed all the syrupy singles for the old school-syrupy table-turning anthem on why honey will never-ever attain wifey status…"Giiiiirrrrrrl…you know I got a giiiiiiiiirrrrl…” Married dudes, salute!

4. J Holiday – Be With Me: Bobby V-esque intro aside, catchy late-year ode to informing a honey on how she should get with the program

5. Musiq – Buddy: De La inspired newness from a recently incognito soul child…the remix, which used the same beat with Young Buck and T.I., is entirely unnecessary due to grating raps

6. Michael Jackson – Escape: Studio Michael sounds like old school Michael…it’s just a buzz single, but you know he could never make it work live…

7. Lloyd feat. Andre 3000 and Nas – You Remix: Actually uses the Spandau Ballet sample, instead of just vocally interpolating it on the hook. And Andre kicks some slick game.

8. Megan Rochelle – The One You Need (without rap): Yeah, my minimum expectation for derivative pop RnB: catchy but no need for F-A’s lukewarm 16.

9. Robin Thicke – Wanna Love U Girl/Shooter feat. Lil Wayne/Got 2 Be Down feat. Faith Evans: As you can see, my quota for blue-eyed soulsters is one. Sorry JT. At least you got a good rap from T.I. for the single…but it’s no Weezy on ‘Shooter’ tho

10. Darien Brockington – Can We Fall In Love Again/He Will Break Your Heart: So when me and D were chopping it up at the Little Brother concert last year, I was like “Yo, I don’t even listen to RnB anymore…but you gotta give me your CD tho…” Nice guy.

11. Le Che Martin feat. Rico Love – Get Away: A less inspired ‘1 Thing’, go-go drums and appealing chorus good enough for me tho…

12. Aloe Blacc – Are You Ready/One Inna: This is like back-pack RnB…one of the better albums of the year with singing on it

13. Bilal – Make Me Over/All For Love: Neo-Soul torch bearer…yup, he had an album out this year…Thought you knew?…Maybe if you didn’t listen to the radio so damn much…

14. Joy Denalane feat. Raekwon - Heaven or Hell: She's kinda newish over on this side of the pond, this soulstress reworks the OB4CL classic, bringing back Rae as well.

15. Mariah Carrey feat. Snoop – Say Somethin’: Guilty pleasure. No more. No less. But the ‘Remix’ was pure doo-doo.

16. Noelle feat. Pitbull – Like that: She was doing the mixtape grind thing, re-recording other folks’ songs for the females (Ne-Yo, Robin Thicke). This one’s an original: happy, up-tempo joint.

17. Janet – So Excited/Weekend: Is it just me, or am I the only one who likes the Rockit sample? And she did the 80’s classic as a pre-album buzz single.

18. Mic Little – Put It In A Letter: Best MJ impersonation of ’06, wresting the title from dance-aholic Chris Brown.

19. Omarion – Icebox: Now if dudes were young & single instead of locked down, this would be an anthem, especially for the drama-minded…corny, maybe…but so coooooooold ( and this was Timbaland, too).

20. Gnarls Brakley – Crazy: Firstly, don’t be mad, but I heard this waaaay before you. It was absolutely ubiquitous this past year, mostly because it was a better pop song than any of those rock people could come up with (ask Rolling Stone…). So really, it belongs here and not on the other list. Plus, Cee-lo brings you to church.

21. Snoop feat. R Kelly – That’s That: This is an ‘R’ song as far as I’m concerned.

22. Pharrell feat. Jay-Z – Young Girl: The one 80’s influenced song that I was sorta feeling, and it was Pharrell and not Timbaland. Go figure. Does anyone even acknowledge the ’06 Pharrell album, tho?

Honorable Mention: Cassie – Long Way To Go: I laughed my ass off when I first heard this song. That counts as entertainment, don’t it?

Slept on in 2006: Another Year End List

As the new year rapidly approaches, I thought I'd put together a list of 10 people, events or things from 2006 that warrant further commentary. Even though some of the list may have passed as discussion points throughout the year, the management at Dotrunnings clearly feels the need to throw some more shine on said topics. Of course, publicity is relative, but we're talking about how I sees it, with my big brown eyes...and that's word to baby Kaya.

So without further adieu...in no particular order:

1. Rick James samples – We collectively said good bye to the funk legend in 2004, an icon re-immortalized in his later years for a newer generation by Chappelle. While his sketch comedy-related notoriety seemed to finally die out this year, hip-hop brought Buffalo's finest (literally) back for several bangers this year. Most notably, the Green Lantern vocal-swapping Busta track, “In the Ghetto” and the “Mary Jane”-looped AZ and MOP banger, “Bring it Back Slow”. But the highest profile use of James’ work this year came in the form of Jay-Z’s title track from his much maligned, out of retirement album ‘Kingdom Come’. Just Blaze’s masterful chopping of ‘Super Freak’ clearly out shone Hov’s superhero metaphors, on what was probably the album’s best instrumental. From the grave, Rick James still makes it funky…

2. Diamond D reworkings – the D.I.T.C. veterano who originally claimed the title of ‘best producer on the mic’, had two of his beats brought back from his seminal ’92 release, ‘Stunts, Blunts & Hip-Hop’. RnB newcomer Yummy Bingham took ‘I’m outta here’ and turned it into ‘Is It Good To You’ which got some burn earlier in the year. Of course, the Busta Rhymes would-be-NYC anthem ‘New York Sh!t’ had DJ Scratch taking the credit for ‘I Went For Mine’. The ode to New York did get some serious spins, especially in the city which inspired the song, and was remixed regionally, but never quite caught on the level that would catapult Busta’s record to cross-over popularity. Hey, I could hardly care less who sells what: all I know is that original Diamond D long player is a hip-hop classic that should be recognized as such. (oh and ‘eff' Wyclef…two times)

3. PG for PF trades – all you Charlie V fans must be catching that burn that comes with memory loss. It’s just a general principle of basketball: anytime you get a chance to significantly improve the middle of your team, you do so. In the long term (or not so long term) the transaction will be warranted, regardless of what players were exchanged. Sure, if TJ was a bum, there would be some question. But TJ was never that – tiny, injury prone…hell, throw in defensive liability. The talent was never in question. And now, who can you thank for keeping the ship afloat without Bosh? It’s just sad that Charlie V has struggled with injuries…but who woulda figured this trade would be so lop-sided, this early. I not saying Charlie V won’t be a player…but just wait until TJ plays under a coach that has the team running…

4. Hollywood aging double standards – I know, I know. Women in the biz get objectified, subjected to an impossibly self-limiting standard of beauty and often are discarded with age. And where are the roles? The scripts? Yeah, yeah, yeah…I feel you ladies. All I can say is, those who are getting the chance to represent are not only miscast, but are doing it all wrong in general. And it goes like this.
Sharon Stone. Her vehicle: Basic Instinct sequel. Her objective – sexy at all costs. Her aide: plastic surgery. And the end result: movie (and plastic surgery) sucks and, appropriately, tanks. Surprised? Really? Really. Just because Diane Lane was believable pulling swarthy, younger Euro dudes doesn’t mean every actress was meant to cougar out. Plus, the writing she had to work with was not unintentionally comedic…seeing dollar signs in a ‘franchise’ is one thing, but throwing garbage against the wall and expecting it to stick…I mean, why clown it out…they even made Stella look plausible getting her groove back. Then again, it was with Taye Diggs…
Meanwhile to contrast, Sly Stallone. His vehicle: Rocky finale. His objective: to garner as much pathos as possible, without looking like a frail old man. His aide: Roids. The result: We have a winna! Please, hate on Rock all you want…he was in roidiculous shape. Plus, they weren’t hiding the fact that he’s…uh…significantly aged in the movie. They made it work for him. That’s just smart. And it made for a good flick. Double standard or not, at the end of the day, that’s all that matters…

5. Concerts in Hamilton – Sorry. Hate to rub this in, but everyone knows live shows in intimate environments can be one of the more rewarding musical experiences – even for a genre like hip-hop which has a notoriously shaky track record as far as the traditional concert goes. But here I was, with 300 or so other people, taking in KRS-One.
Best. Hip-Hop Concert. Ever.
After a good hour and a half, the Teacha even proceeded to take a 40 minute break or so from the music to give a mini-seminar on socio-politics, entrepreneurial-ship and the general principal of righteousness. That’s forty minutes…of just talking. A lot of hip-hop acts don’t even perform for that long, especially if they face some sort of……adversity….
And for those out there keeping score…never let a Buddhist make your concert plans. It’s clearly bad luck (Re: Siddhartha - Life really IS suffering…’).

6. Rappers who can rhyme – For every Jeezy, Rowssss and Dipset affiliate, there were some lyrical cats and cats with flows that came out in ’06. Nas, The Roots, Lupe, Rhymefest, AZ, Murs…Snoop’s flow seemed rejuvenated (not feeling the whole ‘Vato’ as the lead single tho…) and the Game had his moments, shout outs and West Coast-isms aside. The Coup had the politic covered thorough, T.I. repped the south, hell even Meth’s album had its moments. Alright…fine, but some non-majors releases were bubbling too, with Papoose and Saigon grinding pre-EP material, Boot Camp had a mini-comeback and anti-industry types like NYOIL and Immortal Technique were churning out product. Oh and Ghost dropped two albums. Yes, two. You combine the best of the Fish-related releases and you have the album of the year. Really.
Most importantly, there seems to be a stable of artists that seem inclined NOT to further the marketing agenda of their respective labels and the industry in general. This can only bode well for the future: while I’m not implying a future renaissance here, there seems to be reason for optimism. Critics claim that the slump in sales indicates rap’s decreasing relevance as pop music: I say, ‘Good!’ Artists don’t need to be infatuated with the golden carrot of a cross-over audience…this notion of sales representing quality needs to be deaded. Even if it comes back to smack the offensive in their shiny grillz.
On somewhat of a sidebar: it’s funny because I sorta feel for Jay here, although he was responsible for the promotional standstill that most Def Jam artists suffered through under his ’06 watch. His middling un-retirement album and the associated lack-luster response (critical and otherwise) has clearly dented his own aura of artistic standard-setting. All while pushing “30-something rap”, clearly his personal relevance-saving agenda. What happens when the biggest dealer in the game is supplying the streets with a product they don’t really want (Avon, anyone…)? Can you expect your “only really started listening to Shawn since ‘The Dynasty’” fan base to save you here? You got several moves here, Hov…I guess that’s why the metaphor is chess, not checkers…

7. Atlantic Division Basketball - one of the only things more maligned than the reviews for ‘Kingdom Come’ the only difference being, everyone expected this to be bad. To recap…
The Nets have lost their only frontline scoring threat and still have to rely on Vince as their primary go-to option. Philly traded Iverson, with the intention of being a player in the Oden lottery. Pierce is injury-hampered for a youth-plagued Boston team run by Doc Rivers and overseen by Danny Ainge. And the Knicks are run AND overseen by Isiah.
Can they revoke the automatic playoff spot for the division winner? Whatevers. Putting aside this season…how good does our relative future look. Hey, American commentators…better learn to pronounce those Euro names proper-like…

8. Ms. Dewey Search Engine - Maybe it’s just me that’s out of the loop, but I just heard about this. And do a ‘Blockbuster video’ search while you’re at it. I know you could imdb her (for the record, I believe she’s ¾ Indian, ¼ dutch) but you might want to check here for some more, uh, info on Ms. Dewey (sorry Janina…but they’re my peoples…and they woulda found it eventually anyways…). You’re welcome…

9. The Wire – Sure it gets its critical love, especially from the bloggers (there’s a great account of one fan’s encounter with Marlo, here). But with viewing HBO programming being what it is in this country…well…it just makes manning the torrents a little more understandable.
The Wire is past being the best show in television; it’s starting to make other standards in TV look pale in comparison (Tony…what happened…?). And Season Four was another tour de force. The rise of the Stanfields, the development of the kids, even the insiders view of politics and bureaucracy: compelling is a word that doesn’t do it justice. Simply put, the Wire is the gulliest show…ever.
Apparently, Season 5 is due in ’08, but until then, I have some DVD’s to pick up…

10. Donald Rumsfeld’s firing/Baker’s Iraq Study Group Findings – Speaking of television, most people are familiar with the term, “jumping the shark”. It’s the episode, plot twist or moment in general when a show falls the ‘eff’ off, and never really recovers from this turn for the worse. It’s notable in the sense that it’s viewer-sensitive, and more often than not, the internal mechanisms need some time to identify the downward trends of the show they created, allowing things to plummet further before the end is fully realized. To me, it’d be just as interesting to document the flashpoint when the creators of the show realize that they’ve got to put their work down and just leave it alone.
Now it can be argued all day when the Bush administration ‘jumped the shark’: I’m sure there are many ‘pre-Katrina’ events that detractors could point to, if not having to settle for the, uh, managing of the natural disaster, itself. But a hallmark of Bush and his peoples has been their steadfast refusal (at least in public) to admit to errors in their policy-making in general: it’d be hard to forget that it was this man who coined the whole ‘stay the course’ mantra. Now, had there not been this little conflict in the Middle East going on, things may have been a little less conflicted for the ‘Decider’, as domestic mishandlings could be swept aside and covered up. This has not been the case, of course, and Bush has put himself in a position to be held captive by his own choices, holed up in a sort of bunker mentality to evade criticism. Until now, when he finally decided to face the music and let Rumsfeld go.
The mid-term elections may have spawned some reflective thought on Bush’s part (things like having your own party whole-heartedly rally against you to pander for votes, tends to illicit some self-examination), but firing Rumsfeld was the first significant step towards accountability made by Bush’s administration since they took office. James Baker’s little bi-partisan (a word that only bares mention in the ‘Dubya-era’ political landscape) crew with their ‘suggestions’ on Iraq only serves to rub it in. Pop’s guy is not publicly towing the line? Junior’s half-assed acknowledgement of the failings under his leadership may seem disingenuous, if not put into perspective. This is something he’s never had to do. Until now. His hand was literally forced, in this case, by some of his own peoples...
The legacy of Bush Jr. will be grounded in his ruthlessly efficient management of the press and the Machiavellian strategies employed by his political advisors to overcome such antiquated obstacles like the popular vote. Only history will be able to accurately portray how much this man really got away with, sacrificing domestic and international policy in the name of self-interest and the interest of those around him. Because a beaten down, perspective less and downright impotent White House Media Core is clearly not up to the task. But the day Rumsfeld was put out to pasture was the day all his failings were, to some degree, acknowledged. And that’s something that shouldn’t be slept on…

Post Christmas observation...

Hope everybody had a good Christmas and are enjoying the gifts that came along with the season. I feel I must address this quickly, feeling that certain sense of nostalgia that comes with the season…

Boy are the Nets in trouble. One of my peoples was in town from NYC for the pre-Christmas weekend (yes, Amit, I’ll send you the rest of the pics…) and we were talking about his local squads…mostly the Nets. He proceeds to tell me the key to that team working…is Nenad ‘Can I Buy A Vowel’ Krstic. Regardless of how you feel about that sentiment, he does bring the sort of scoring to a much-beleaguered frontcourt that is entirely lacking with the rest of the team’s bigs. And who goes down not a day later? For the season. It’s difficult to talk about replacements or any other player adding options when your roster is absolutely bereft of anyone with any sort of trade value. Well, there is this one guy with some sort of market value …

Ah, Vincent Lamar Carter. How’s he doing over in the swamp, anywho? Clearly, up to his old tricks, again. Even the team president has gone on record saying he was hoping Vince’s fourth quarter production would increase (code for, please step up and save us…) Sadly, this is all coming with VC’s scoring average back north of 25 a game…

"We fly high, no lie, you know this...trade baaaiiit ?!!"

And if anybody really thinks last night’s Sheed bump was a foul…I mean, come on. Lil’ Lawrence Frank’s post-no-call-tantrum is surely an indication of the levels of desperation this franchise has succumbed to. Hell, even Kidd got into the act with the whole 'three blind mice' routine (I guess he can throw those rocks knowing the refs can't say nothing about his defense to the press...). Frustrated, anyone?
And notice I didn’t say post-Vince-miss tantrum. Until now. Do you think it bothered anybody with an interest in the Nets that son was fading away as usual on that shot…with nobody on him (check out Chauncey’s view of the play here)? At least the Nets don’t have to worry about any pre-game graduation ceremonies…

So when does this get better for the Nets, anyways? Granted, their schedule isn’t as bad as some of the other teams that occupy the worst division…ever…in the Lig. But they still got that five game swing out west at the end of January. If they don’t get some wins before that, the team that virtually everyone had running away with the division may be, for all intents and purposes, broken foor good…But hey, at least the Brooklyn move went through. And Jay, when you shout it out, make sure it sounds like how Jim Jones would do it...the kids seem to dig that.

"Come on Hov, do it for K. But in that fassy voice...you know...like when B's grabbing on your nuts..."

The time is coming where I may have to go off on my 'LeBron to Brooklyn conspiracy' rant, and Vince getting the boot to make room for Jay's favoured child is all part of the plan...you know, the whole 'chess not checkers' thing...

But that will be better served for another day. I’ma start putting up some end of the year lists…I’ll have the first one up a little later. Until then...enjoy the leftovers.

Hip Hop is Dead…R.I.P. James Brown

I remember when I was little and I saw what must have been a re-run of Eddie Murphy’s hot tub skit on Saturday Night Live – you know, this one. For a little kid, it was transfixing in a way; once I realized Eddie was actually impersonating someone, it came with the realization that said person must be the funkiest person alive. And there it was. James Brown was my first tangible conception of what funky was…

The man who wielded the largest influence on 20^th century popular music passed yesterday. I had a chance to see him at the Montreal Jazz Festival for a short set and even at his advanced age, the shear energy and its effect was undeniable. Anybody, and I mean anyone, who tried to bring the soul or funk was essentially channeling James.

Hip hop is merely part of his legacy…I was actually considering comprising a list, but it would be a fruitless attempt with the goal of trying to maintain any sort of brevity (check here for someone who did). Soul Brother One was universal…and will be universally missed.

Taking Stock and Moving On: Wrapping Up the AI Saga

Much beleaguered Philly GM Billy King finally pulled the trigger and by now everyone knows what Denver gave up to make their team that much more hood rich (I'd say gully but y'all saw the brawl...check out Steve Nash's take at the bottom of here). Time to break down the trade that has left everyone in anticipation of how things work out…

"I got him hemmed up, son...now ruuuuuuuuuuuun!!!

First, Philly:

What They Wanted: In this order: expiring contracts, draft picks and, lastly,
young talent.

What They Got: Joe Smith and 1^st round draft picks fit the expectation bill (yes, noticeable lack of young talent…). Granted, both these picks are assured to be nowhere near the lottery (only Phoenix can make those deals…that’s right, who looks like they’ve snuck into the lottery of a draft billed as best in ages…I mean, you don’ think they gave Joe Johnson away for free, do you?), one is a protected Dallas joint and the other is Denver’s natural spot. Fine…maybe they can even use those picks for draft jockeying depending on where their own lottery pick pans out.
Now about Andre Miller. Here’s the rub. His front-loaded (incentives, bonus ish, etc) contract goes till ’08-09’ which has Philly tapped in for 19 million and change for both seasons. While Philly management is patiently waiting for Webber’s jigantor contract to fly off the books at the end of next season, they’ve made it clear they want as much cap room for maneuvering as possible. They’re in full rebuild mode.
See, the Philly overseers did not want Andre: including Miller was the only way the salaries would add up to avoid the complications of involving another team in the deal. That shining horse (uh…Charlotte) had rode off into the sunset.
And the realest reason of all (as if money isn’t real enough…) they wouldn’t want Miller in a Philly uniform…he may meddle with their operation “Tank To Get Oden”. With Miller, Philly has an extremely mediocre starting five…with some bench – the sorta team someone like Scott Skiles would drill-sergeant his way to some wins in a terrible Eastern Conference. Remember, this is the first time Philly has had anything resembling a starting point in years, never mind an above average one. I can’t see any youngish player that previously slaved under Iverson’s shadow not getting at least some shine now that they have a legitimate playmaker helming their offense. The other AI, Dalembert, Korver, Steven Hunter, Willie Green, Rodney Carney…somebody in this group is bound to step up and show signs of being a building block for the future. You’d think this would be good for the 76ers…but the thing is they want to avoid this development resulting in wins at all costs, in the most immediate sense. If push comes to shove, you may see Louis Williams getting a lot of time at the point as the season closes out…there's agendas that must be reached.

"Sure we got plenty of those in Philly, Greg...and did I mention the cheesesteaks?"

Why They Needed To Do This: When will GM’s and Team Presidents learn? Putting yourself at your colleagues’ mercy by removing your trade bait from the line-up and announcing your intention to trade them is a sure-fire way to devalue their worth. Philly had to do this; sure, having AI sitting around would help with the whole season-tanking thing. But as far as running a functional franchise, it’s damn near impossible to let a situation like this fester. For the history revisionists, it’s too bad for King and Snider that it appears they made the move on Denver’s time table, not to mention the residual stink from Larry Brown's lingering involvement in the form of 'personal trade advisor' to the 76ers.

"I thought Philly did a great job with that deal...and they don't even have to pay Zo a dime!"

What Will Happen: For all the critics of this trade, Philly was never looking to improve in any sort of immediate sense, as hard as it may be for some fans to admit: unless a lottery pick was bagged, the true value of AI would never be realized in a trade like this. Ever. So if we’re looking at probable scenarios, Andre Miller will lead the 76ers to the dark side of mediocrity: a team that improves by narrowing its margin of missing the playoffs but throws away lottery balls in the process. With the stakes being as high as they are (and wouldn’t it be funny if Oden actually decides to stay in college) this is a totally unacceptable outcome. But this scenario will only play out if Miller actually stays on the team. As John Hollinger suggests (an opinion brought to you via third party True Hoop), there is little doubt that Miller will be dealt to a contending team with some expiring contracts before the deadline, with Miami seeming to be the logical fit as far as desire and requisite goods (Posey) to make it happen. With Miller gone, Philly will happily tumble in the standings, and pray to the Basketball Gods and the good folks at the Stern Marketing Machine that Philly would be a great city for the next NBA superstar to grow and prosper. Did I really say somewhere that money wasn’t the bottom line…?

Now, Denver:

"Ayo...where La La at?"

What They Wanted: Initially, a legitimate secondary scoring option; ideally a perimeter threat. Some star power to catapult them into the upper echelon of Western Conference contenders. But recent circumstances dictate they find somebody who can pick up the big-time scoring void created by their stoopid coach getting pimp-slapped by Karma for trying to publicly embarrass Isiah…uh, more than he’s normally used to.

What They Got: Salary Cap Hell. Seriously, that…and a pretty good individual talent. Understatement? Perhaps. It may seem underestimating of Mr. Iverson, but that is the point really. For all his perceived baggage, it’s the assessment of AI’s individual talent that is an undeniable truth never to be questioned (see this interesting ode to AI by Harry which includes the recounting of painful memories). Clearly, what remains uncertain is whether this will work in a team framework. Can Melo and AI, currently the top two scorers in the Lig, play on same team and make that team win?

Why They Needed To Do This: For sometime Denver has been eying putting Melo together with another big name talent, in an attempt to have the franchise break through to compete with the big dogs of the conference. JR Smith has been somewhat of a teaser, as conventional wisdom seems to equate Lig success to having two big time scoring options on your squad. It’s been suggested that AI has been be shopped around as early as last year, which no doubt gave Denver management the time to marinate on the reality of making such a blockbuster move. Thus, it seemed natural for the Nuggets to jump to the head of the pack in the bartering that Billy King et al. had publicly initiated by placing their former star on the open market. With Minnesota strong in intent, but struggling to put together an appealing package, a very tangible move for the franchise became a down-right necessity after a certain coach played with fire and got his team burned: clearly the suspension of Melo and JR was the impetus that pushed the deal through.

What Will Happen: Alright, let’s look at this roster for half a second. Without Melo and JR you could say the Nuggets almost look like Philly, albeit a Philly team lacking even a marginal pass-first, set-up point like Kevin Ollie. That’s right; the only two primary ball handlers on the roster are principally known for being able to get their own shot…and having an uncanny knack for leaving their teammates stranded on the court. I mean, damn. When Melo and JR get back, you’re talking about a backcourt rotation of AI, JR and Boykins: you throw Melo in there and you’ve got a foursome that rivals the passing deficiencies of the Knicks backcourt! The KNICKS! This doesn’t look good…adding a (preferably big) pass first point would be the obligatory first post AI acquisition.

He can even wear his old jersey...

Roster issues aside, let me digress, quickly: pre-suspension, Allen puts Denver on his back and scores like mad, winning the hearts of the Denver faithful (ain’t a damn thing changed…) They’ll manage to stay afloat in the division, but will take some bad beats, as the Nuggets play virtually all of the Western Conference contenders while Melo is gone.
Post-suspension, Iverson and Melo will settle into a sort of shaky détente-type existence: it would be completely unrealistic to expect both these players not to be highly aware of their relative scoring and nightly shot attempts, both of which are sure to drop noticeably (hey, they’re trying to make it work…). Sure AI may not be the most natural playmaker (in the team concept sense of the term) and he will have his ups and downs as a primary ball handler…his domination of the ball will certainly take away from Melo at times, and there’s nothing the bells and whistles of Karl’s up tempo offense will be able to do about it. Oh and the consistency to JR Smith’s scoring will fall the ‘eff’ off.
But given the sting of his departure from Philly, Iverson will be acutely cognizant of his critics and he will be motivated prove the nay-sayers/haters wrong. I believe that he will eventually manage assimilate his game just enough (i.e. not completely vex Melo) so that Denver will actually be able to make a season-ending run, only to be squeezed out by an elite contender such as Dallas, San Antonio or Phoenix in the playoffs.
However, the chinks in the armor will be exposed in the following season, one that will include the additional pressure of high expectations from the previous end of season rallying and the return of perennial problem child Kenyon Martin. As the team starts slipping from out of his control, Karl will eventually be forced to step in and choose sides in the power struggle over which player is to be designated as the team’s primary option. With management backing Mello, George and AI’s relationship will completely fall apart, and even the addition of a pass first point to the roster will not be able to salvage what’s left of this rapidly deteriorating situation. Ultimately, Denver is never able to fully crack the group of elite squads in the West.

"Yes. I am an idiot. But Larry sure gave me a hell of a deal..."

What could save the team would be the insertion of a coach who will be able to install a system that allows for the sort of ball sharing that will keep the roster placated. Of course, this coach will have to get his players to buy into said system as well. Player management will be the key in the pairing of Melo and AI, and I can’t believe George Karl is the man who will be up to this task. Granted Phil Jacksons don’t grow on trees, but with Karl’s old school leanings, suspect dealings with past stars and his tendency to turn on players…let’s just say at the first sign of friction, I wouldn’t expect an AI to play the good Samaritan for just anybody. Might as well start that pool up on when the first public ‘practice-related’ feud will occur…

And I sing...Who got my back?...I do not know...

All in all, like the KG situation in Minnesota, I don’t think there is a true fan of basketball that isn’t excited at the prospect of Iverson playing with a fellow superstar (yeah I said it…). The Denver bandwagon is bound to swell to overwhelming proportions, especially if this pairing turns out to be anything but a disaster on its onset. Stern may not be able to bring himself to market this situation to its full potential (ad campaigns based on ‘swagger’ may be a tough look…), but in the end, this will be a stunningly fascinating experiment in character…the right coach would certainly make for a better handicap. But hey, Larry did manage to win AI’s respect…uh, sort of. We’ll see how his good buddy and courtside defender does…for Denver’s sake, hopefully this will be a scenario that’s more Payton than Jesus.

Re: First Blog Pic...And She's A Beauty...

Well, there she is: I have the honour of introducing to the blog Ms. Kaya Patel...all 6 pounds and change of her. Mother is doing well and pops is frantic out his skull...the usual post baby business. Congrats to Tatez and Anjana...look forward to seeing her. Best thing you ever did, kid...

Garden Brawl: We Gonna Go Over This One Last Time…And Finish Up With The Aftermath

Brawl at the Garden: is there an incident that could more appropriately sum up Isiah’s post-playing career than this one? Watching his team get run out of their own building, Isiah decides that the presence of Denver’s starters in the waning moments is a little too much to handle. At this point, the pride mechanism starts kicking in. Now. As, in the dying seconds of the game turned beatdown.

To clarify, this pride is not grounded in the competitive instinct which is triggered when you’re actually trying to win a game. You figure that type of pride would have come up when the Knicks were down between quarters or maybe during a halftime speech, when they were down 13. It also doesn’t help when your team has set an early season precedent of pride-less play. It tends to reflect poorly when a team is so puzzlingly non-competitive on their own home court…you figure pride might be a factor here.

But this is that other type of pride. You know the kind. The same pride that is displayed by that high school team that has nobody resembling a game dunker on its own squad, but will risk life and limb to keep another team from dunking on them. That pride that obscures the bigger picture. Unless you were so outmatched that the bigger picture is moot…

And really, that could be the real question concerning the Knicks? Are they so outmatched as a team that expectations must be viciously re-examined and summarily lowered. Well, let me digress by bottom-lining the original issue: can you really expect teams NOT to dunk all over you when you’re being blown out? Is that reverse dunk really that out of line for the 6’6’’ 40-inch vertical possessing, chronic breakaway-having opponent? Rubbing it in…after your team turns it over for the umpteenth time. Isiah, maybe we should have a little chat…

See Isiah, nobody’s disagreeing with the fact that it’s not very sporting to leave your starters in at the end of a blow out. That’s a given. It would rub anyone the wrong way. But see the problem is, Isiah, people want to rub you the wrong way. That’s because…well, you’re an asshole.

Now, in a world filled with assholes, you may be wondering, ‘Why me? Why am I the one being jerked like so much chicken.” OK, let’s compare you to somebody like…say…uh, Larry Brown. He’s an asshole too. But he’s not a public asshole. He actually cultivates an image of being professional, regardless of how fabricated or contrived it actually is. It’s common knowledge that he’s likely a bigger asshole than even you.

So when one of Larry’s boys, G. Karl, steps up to the plate to seize the opportunity to humiliate you, as opposed to ordering your bench players to haplessly ‘defend the fort’ or muttering warnings to opposing players that will be caught by cameras everywhere, maybe…just maybe, you should put this in your pocket. Use it as a rallying cry for the troops. Instill some pride in them: well-placed pride. Then one day, with Karma in your sails, you can get Jamal to throw an off the backboard dunk in the dying seconds.... At the very least, Isiah, it seems expectations are very low…for your team’s performance and conduct. And remember, you have to be winning to use that old ‘Bad Boys’ blueprint. Keep that in mind while you finish up the season...

But who’s the real loser here? Time to throw in some words on Mr. Karl here. Can’t really say I’ve ever been a fan of his – I have a downright disdain for the whole UNC cartel. And on that note, it’s really sweet that his crusty bond with L. Brown extends to more than just effing up teams comprised of NBA All-Stars that represent the U.S. in international play. Despite the negative karma he's amassed feuding with the stars and would-be stars that played under him (Kenyon…hell, even Jesus had beef), I’m sure he feverishly anticipates the day a team he coaches comes together in perfect harmony like Brown’s Detroit Pistons, allowing him to finally enjoy that ultimate success, however fleeting the taste may be. Let me address you directly George: this may be a sign that it will never happen for you, mane…

You took the opportunity to show Isiah up, a man who humiliates himself on the regular, despite your cries of just ‘wanting a big win on the road’. Right. Would it really have left a big dark cloud over your squad if your subs allowed the Knicks to knock that lead down to ten during garbage time? As opposed to now, with your starting shooting guard gone for a month and the leading scorer in the Lig (!!!) out for fifteen games!!! Son won’t even see the floor till the twenties of January, a stretch that has Denver playing most of the Western Conference playoff contenders.

George Karl, please explain yourself and help me do it without using the word idiot. Denver management should really be considering coaching alternatives right now, just on principle, especially if the Nuggets fall much further past the seven seed they currently occupy. Look at it this way, G: you were a dummy for trying to make an avenging statement on behalf of Larry. Fine. But if you were legitimately looking out for your team (an intention you swore on your children) by leaving most of your starters in at the end of a blow out…against the Knicks (!!!) ...could that possibly make you a bigger dummy? Letting Isiah draw your star player and a starter into a suspension-like scenario…with his scrubs, no less! (Please stop the naiveté by even bringing up premeditation and Isiah together…) Doing the math, you lose Carmelo and to a lesser extent JR Smith for an extended period. Isiah looses Mardy Collins and a waaaay-too-willing-to-fight-Zab Judah-lookin’ Nate Robinson. Huh? Jared gets a week or so more rehab time? Wow.

Serves your stoopid ass right George…and for the record, does anybody else want to question the notion of Karmic rule?

As I already alluded to, the anal-retentive head of M&R (Marketing & Refereeing) David Stern has descended from the mountain and set forth his statements to smote any ill conduct from his minions in an attempt to appease the delicate hearts and minds of the upper and middle classes of Americans i.e. the ticket purchasers. Because even the Kramers amongst that bunch might be down for at least a jersey…

Carmelo got 15 games, Nate and JR are at 10 games each and good ol’ Mardy Collins got stuck with 6. Poor Jared Jeffries receives 4 games for fruitlessly chasing Carmelo up the court. Assorted bench fodder/dummies out for a game. Check. Team fines. Check. But the accompanying statements Stern gave to explain his logic were of the classic variety. Especially the whole, ‘Teams will be held accountable for the actions of their employees – management and players alike.’ Stern’s attempt to not seem heavy-handed and controlling won’t allow him to call Isiah out directly. But why not give his coach/GM status a special term…you know, the status that flat out enables him to be the Isiah everyone knows and is wary of. Like, ‘Uber-management will be seriously frowned upon for telling opposing players not to go to the basket in garbage time when his poorly coached team is getting shelled on their home court.’ Now that’s a statement.

One last thing. I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least drop a few words on the actual scuffle itself. Everyone seems to be about the breakaway foul, lauding a defending team’s acumen for preventing the ‘easy two’. I see the play as having huge potential for a dangerous injury or at least potential to commit harm on the offensive player. There is no sure fire way of minimizing this threat; even wrapping somebody up, in the open court, has a high risk. JR Smith had every right to be angry; clearly Collins hit him with a flagrant. So for him and Mardy to get into it on some level could hardly be a surprise. But Nate? Damn. He seemed all too eager to get his fighting stance on…what’s up with the open-handed slaps anyways? I guess Isiah can still motivate his players on some level.

But if Nate was a shame (you know that tumble with JR in the crowd must have given Stern a virtual heart attack), Melo…well, that was just sad. Very, very…very NOT gangsta. Sucker punch, then flee? Literally, turn and run. Come on, man. You lost on this one, huge. What’s really hood about being the cowardly footnote to an ill conceived mess of a scuffle…clearly that punch wasn’t saving anyone. Keep it real for his teammates? Maybe when keeping it real goes wrong…

I’m a big fan of Melo’s game and I feel he really deserved the success he garnered on the WC team from the summer. But his involvement in this ‘brawl’ was wrong on so many levels. Whether subconsciously or not, his actions seemed predicated on a desire to portray an image. An image more in line with the ‘Stop Snitchin’ movement than a Stern-endorsed ad campaign. It’s understandable that Carmelo wants to stay hood-friendly: he’s a success story that should translate as a role model for others. And I’m sure Nike has a whole array of AI-like marketing strategies, following the original Interscope-based blueprint (you think nobody else noticed N.W.A’s sales…that's some trend-setting). But now, even this sacred cow has taken a serious hit. Son could do all the ghetto homage shoe commercials he wants; he could have the most ridiculous cameo ever on the finale of the Wire. At the end of the day, all it takes is one replay to show him to be a hit and run-away punk. I mean, did you really have to turn your back and run? Since when is Jared Jeffries police?

Ahhhhh, alright…he’s young. People will get over this sooner than later; precedents have already been set (and no need for a number change here…). As for Melo, himself, he got burned bad: there’s no doubt he learned his lesson here. Talent has a responsibility. Now he’s got the time to reflect on that. For his sake, let’s hope Denver does completely fall off in his absence. I could see Mr. Karl holding a grudge at his misfortune of losing his star player for a difficult month-long stretch in the schedule. He's driven away his star before.

Bad things happening to good people? Karmic consequence? Or Isiah’s deal with the Devil. Either way, the Brawl at the Garden will most likely be more than just a flash point for these two teams…it could ultimately cost folks their jobs down the line. For eventually, they’ll be a point when even Satan won’t be able to save you, Isiah. Motivate that.

Rolling Stones Top 100 of '06

So I caught this link of Rolling Stone's top joints of 2006. I'll give RS credit at trying to keep the list diverse: hip hop, well, rap and RNB had more than their share of presence all up and down the list. Keep in mind that a publication like RS is inherently in love with any musical trend-setters and will cozy up to anyone who they feel will make a dent in pop culture, even if they orginally come from the reclusive confines of the aforementioned genres. The big-hitters were somewhat predictable and even artists that didn't have that big of an '06 still find a way to get love (cough....Pharrell...cough). Can't really front on the list to much...at the end of the day, more made mention than not. I mean, is RS gonna give, say, Rhymefest a shout out just cuz? (however, surprisingly, no Busta, Snoop or Game in sight...maybe Curtis got to them on that last one...) With that in mind, here's my take on the tunes I'm more familiar with that did make it...

99. Baby Let’s Have a Baby Before Bush Do Somethin’ Crazy – The Coup with Silk E: Can’t really front, a militant conscious hip-hop group from the Bay doing a soul ballad protest song. That combination is just too much for any liberal, hipster inclined music critic to overlook…what about Paris tho?(see, too much ‘Devil’ talk does hurts feelings)

98. Take Control – Amerie: Not exactly ‘1 thing’, but again, why not put it at #98? Like Clue. Do remember...

95. Don’t Feel Right – The Roots: First nod to one of the lost ones of ’06: can’t really be mad they giving the Roots some shine. ‘Long Time’ was the joint on Game Theory tho…

94. Stuntin’ like My Daddy – Lil’ Wayne and Birdman: Referencing the Lil Wayne bandwagon…we know, RS…you know some thangs (apparently from watching BET). But why not chose a good Weezy song…like Shooter (giving Alan Thicke’s son some shine too).

91. Buttons – The Pussycat Dolls feat. Snoop: Man, even I think there’s a better Pussycat Dolls song out there to bring up than this…if you HAD to bring them up.

89. Show Me – John Legend: Didn’t personally get all the way down with this album, as John’s sound is moving away from contemporary RNB and Kanye-isms: he should be applauded, but it’s just that he decided to straddle that late 60’s sound, from hippie rock to Motown-y vibes. Very adult contemporary (that’s where you lost me…). But RS chose one of the more poignant mid-tempos to represent…fine.

82. London Bridge – Fergie: This is where I really don’t understand white people. I thought they’d all be loving it…making her the female JT and all? Seems this newer JJ Fad-inspired release gets more love. #82 has got to be considered a disappointment for white chick rap lovers everywhere…just gotta keep the fingers crossed. Stefani…you next to be disappointed.

81. Temperature – Sean Paul: Well, there was a video…up tempo riddim…RS shows mainstream knows more reggae than just Bob, can do dancehall too…

80. I’m Free – Pimp C: What the…? Why include this mix tape fodder? Houston was basically ’05…so is it just because he used an unlikely 80’s pop sample…why do mainstream critics luuv that so?

79. It’s Going Down – Yung Joc: This dude is like Paul Wall/Mike Jones were last year…so why not? Culturally relevant, pop wise. Fine RS…I knoooow you see it.

77. I’m Trapped in the Drive-Thru – Weird Al Yankovic: Beyond parody…R Kelly is built for parody. Is this the most tame take possible on the biggest unnecessary indulgement recording in the Pied Piper’s already bizzaro catalogue? Does this have to be here to remind us of the R’s lingering presence in the music world?

70. I Gotcha – Lupe Fiasco: Good mention…but coulda done better here. Much. Hell, Daydreamin’ had Jill Scott AND a video. RS still on Pharrell’s nutsack…too bad he ain’t working with JT no mo’.

69. Trouble – Jay-Z: Well, have to reference the big willy rap icon release…and they even took a slight dig at its lack-luster reception (es tu, RS…)? Is this really one of the nastiest Dr. Dre beats in years? RS should never speak for the ‘heads’…ever.

67. Déjà Vu – Beyonce feat. Jay-Z: Again, RS tries to get a clue…but. Reference the diva icon release, sure…but any 14 year old girl could tell you ‘Irreplacable’ is the anthem. RS said it felt like a Ferrell/Gaye duet for the hip-hoppers…huh? Just say it was a Mary/Meth-type collabo and leave it alone.

64. Put Your Records On – Corinne Bailey Rae: Heard this on a TV show the other day. The Gap is prolly kicking themselves for not selling her out for their X-Mas commercials…well, they still got Common. Good for house party, wine n cheesin’…no, you good RS.

59. Bossy – Kelis feat. Too Short: Again, big club tune…artist is known to do cross-over stuff (not EPMD, but the genre kind). And the ladies have a beat to dig a front to…(that’ll work). You good, here too RS.

58. Idlewild Blues – Outkast: Boy, RS luuuv’s it when Andre sangs. Everyone knows the best material from this album was the non-Andre stuff…gotta take those ‘Love Below’-tinged glasses off. Idlewild doesn’t need mention in general, but if you do mention the album…gotta push that ‘Train’ joint…that is, if you actually like music.

57. Love Me or Hate Me – Lady Sovereign: Makes sense for RS, trying to be a 'cool' identifier…pushing avant-garde wack rap that limps in as underground/altenative: does anybody but Jay-Z (who signed her) and maybe some British types, think she’s worth anything?If you wanted a female emcee for the sake of it, couldn’t you just put Jean Grae here…she got skills...she even light-skinned…shame.

56. Promiscuous – Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland: I’m sorta like, ‘only’ #56? We get it…it’s funky cuz Force MD’s coulda sang over it. The one Timbaland joint Ginuwine can’t be mad at not being on...(well, maybe SexyBack too...)

54. Kilo – Ghostface Killah: Yes, you down RS. You know what they like in the underground. ‘Shakey Dog’ is Ghost at his finest, and woulda been a better representation…but can’t really complain at any Ghost drop. More fish?

51. Black Sweat – Prince: This album seemed to be virtually ignored by the mainstream, but this video did get some burn. Gotta mention Prince when you can.

50. My Love – Justin Timberlake feat. T.I.: This is why Ginuwine is furious. Yes, it’s the wonder boy who gets more passes than a fastidious hall monitor. And no mention of T.I. as the ‘hot guest rapper providing necessary street cred’? Psshht. Shine is for the Golden Child. #50 seems good, since JT has, crudely put, ‘less black’-sounding releases out there. I’m riding with Alan’s son still ('sharing the laugh-tuh-a-huh!')…apparently RS is not. By the way, here's some get-back: "Ginuwine...meet Pharrell...uh, Pharrell...Ginuwine".

48. He Said, She Said – Shawnna feat. Ludacris: I think they meant to put ‘Gettin’ Some’ here and mistyped. More mixtape fodder on a top 100 list? Boo, RS. If anything, ‘Gettin’ Some’ deserves a mention because unlike ‘Bossy’, this is a song where you can identify a girl’s front by how she mouths the words: I mean, is she really ‘gettin’ some’? Or is her man just ‘going down’ on her…It’s the ‘gully’ litmus test for the ladies.

45. Yo (Excuse Me Miss) – Chris Brown: Best MJ impersonation of the year…and the boy Usher is burning somethin’ fierce...somewhere. Props to RS (yeah…I typed it) for choosing this over his other blah material.

44. Hustlin – Rick Ross: I think the mainstream media has coined some term for this…like ‘Dope Rap’ or ‘Coke Rap’…somethin’. Sure…big tune…regionally diversifies things (MIA…bebe). Whatevers...people liiiiiiiike. Rowsssssss…

41. Me & U – Cassie: Ex-model, filmed a bootleg video in the Dot on a song which is the RNB corollary to ‘Getting’ Some’ (‘Givin’ Some’...?). What’s not to like? Oh yeah…her singing. Whatever haters! You don't sing live on a record. Seriously, honey is a genuine trailblazer…one of the first of the ‘My Space’ generation to blow up (and we'll be paying for years to come...with our ears!). Let’s be honest, it comes down to this: you’d hit. I mean, Puff did…

39. Dance, Dance – Fall Out Boy: HA!HA!HA!HA! DON LUUUV FALL OUT BOY! YOU GOT EXPOSED PLAYA! HA!HA!HA! Oh and thank your wife for the electric toothbrush…it’s like a party in my mouth and only the Colgate is invited…

36. SOS – Rihanna: RS couldn’t stay away from the Soft Cell sample. But really, is there a singer out there that’s gets more love AND shade than this one? Is the Bajan Beyonce Lite on the scene simply to be heaped with your praise and alternately rattled with your disses? But most importantly…you think Jay hit?

32. Do It to It – Cherish: Must reference snap music…new...musical...trend. RS does it in the most mundane way possible. Did this have to be at #32? RS watches THAT much BET?

29. Smiley Faces – Gnarls Barkley: This year’s Andre 3000. RS luuuuv’s them some crossover chic. The mainstream darlings are here…and how could you not like Cee-Lo’s vocals? This is the second most catchy joint from the album. Of course, no mention of the best relationship line of the year (“say for instance, my girlfriend, she bugs me all the time/ but the irony of it all, is that she loves me all the time…” and I first thought it was not ‘bug’ and ‘love’, but ‘love’ twice…maybe this is saying too much about me but THAT would’ve been deep…)

21. SexyBack – Justin Timberlake: I mean, at least this wasn’t a top 10 choice. Fortunately, the love did not reach over the top proportions for this: I know what Tim was trying to do here…still thought this was wet with the wack juice (JUICE!). The whole thing is so far beyond me…but so not. Just can’t get with it on any level. And really, this is one reason why K is set to take Hollywood (I hate that 'weird' term...naaaah) by storm and that it could never be me. Uh…besides the whole acting ‘talent’ thing…

18. Ain’t No Other Man – Christina Aguilera: I wanted to get with Premier’s instrumental here…but the whole ‘prohibition-horn’ based breakbeat never really caught me. I didn’t think this song got huge love either…RS, they luuuuv them some producers willing to cross…

14. Ghetto Story – Cham: I’m sure the Alicia Keys re-do caught RS and they wheeled it back to the original. RS makes reference to its political overtones back in the Yard and that, no doubt, sealed the deal for its high placing on the list.

8. Wamp Wamp (What It Do) – Clipse with Slim Thug: The mainstream hipsters luuuuuv them some Clipse. No idea this would be here. More Pharrell-tip riding, clearly (hey RS, why not put one of HIS songs on the list…oh, you still like pushing the cutesy Benetton diversity of the ‘Neptunes’ concept). But nihilistic, unapologetic, materialistic, pusher-glamourizing lyrics get love like this? Really? Does RS even know what they’re saying? Is this some form of white guilt?

5. Vans – The Pack: Got big MTV buzz here (part controversy). Infectious, hyphy-ish beat. Lyrical advertisement for Vans. I guess if the benefactor was a big corporation (Nelly…what kicks u got?), this would be considered evil.

4. What You Know – T.I.: Big tune. RS gives their respect. He out-sold everyone in rap this year…I mean, that’s what it’s all about, right? Still, couldn’t be angry at the song…even got me to download the movie. Which wasn’t terrible, by the way…

3. Ridin’ – Chamillionaire: People actually felt this was a political song. No, really (Broooooks…). Catchy joint, catchy buzz phrase on the chorus. Some might replace ‘catchy’ with ‘corny’. Apparently, they’ll play this at bars: Nelly sing-song hook…but gullier. Personally liked the T.I. better (who wouldn’t)…but can’t believe this is at #3.

1. Crazy – Gnarls Barkley: The juggernaut. RS said it…this year’s ‘Hey Ya’…although much more soulful by anyone’s standards. Mainstream luuuuv’s them some cool negros…in the spirit of the originators of Rock N Roll. Knew this was the tune when I first heard it waaay back when…but didn’t think it would go here. Props to the funky duo. But Cee-Lo, did you have to 'eff' Goodie Mob to blow up?

What's Good...Not Us...

So even that almost great finish to the Houston game, where Rocket scrubs, down 27 with nine and a half minutes left in the game, bum rushed a Laker squad that still had Kobe for the start and end of a run that had them down one. But several missed free throws down the stretch and D Wade ref-blinding call on a Kobe missed lay-up (but it was so pretty)/ Kwame Brown goaltend sealed that deal. Scrubs came so close...but their undoing was, and is, inherent in their scrubdome.
And our own scrubs, what have become of them. Dropping back to back joints in what could be arguably their two worst performances of the season, the Raptors have the appearance of a real live D-Leauge team without Bosh. It's funny, because the drop off of another equally bad team (if not worse...I mean come on Blazer fans...) without their 'superstar' post was not nearly dramatic as the Bosh-less Dotters. And we come to the same problems which will identified in an enumerated style:

1. Our Interior Presence is One Away From Being Null: You think it's an accident we get pounded on the boards by a workmanlike Portland team and a Shaq-less Heat? You think it's by chance our free throw attempts range from anemic on the road to considerably out-tallied at home? Who is gonna pick up the 10+ rebound Bosh provides nightly? Rasho, with comme-ci comme-ca playing time...considering he can only grab anything within arms-length...we'll give that a 'meh'. Garbo? Well considering he's only near the basket on one side of the floor...try again? Bench help, like under-lengthed Humphries? Did anyone else see Magloire abuse him around the bakset retrieving misses...I mean, in the clumsiest possible way, of course (it was a battle of Clumsy v. Clumsier...and to see poor Jamal in the post was to see a shook player have his mind force his body to do things they just weren't meant to do....). I guess the youngsters get a reprieve for being young...as much as I enjoyed Joey's mashing of Alonzo, it would be nice to see him get a couple of misses when he's on the court and Bargani? Aren't you just glad there's tanglible progress...I mean, he sorta scores now. Sometimes. Just be happy with that.
We haven't mentioned anything about an alternate post scorer yet...but hey, with all those out of turn perimeter shots hoisted up by everyone else...who's to say they'd even get the ball...

2. Transition Game, Half-Court Sets...they all come down to a high pick and pop anyways: I wish someone out there with a...ahem...real public forum on this would just acknowledge the obvious: since the Lig has kept meanigful scores, we have not run at all this season. I mean post-preseason, we have not engaged in anything remotely resembling a running style...and Sam has the gaul to recently announce that the up-tempo style will be phased out. When was it phased in?
Colangelo has clearly assembled a roster made for transition: from our nimble, non-bulky (but not skinny no mo') star post, to our lightning quick starting point, even our Euro's and overseas pick-ups have skill sets that would be best suited to a running game. And really, that is the whole point of transition offense...to get down the court before the opposing team can set their defense and find an open look. Sometimes within 20 feet even.
We've been playing Sam's one-set halfcourt set all year, which not only makes us a tremendously boring team to watch but also one destined for failure. The only player who has even remotely played consistently in this, uh, 'style', (other than our All-Star) is Calderon...but thats' because he's now gotten the green light to fire away on that 20 footer off the pick and pop. But how does that help Freddie Jones? Or Joey Graham? Or how does that not lead to an off-balance 21 footer by MoPete when he's being showcased for other teams? And why does TJ always look like he doesn't know where anyone is when he penetrates...is it possible for him to make a pass that's not a kick-out to a stationary perimeter shooter? To say we have problems on the offensive end is like saying Dope Boys like big, ostentatious jewelry.

3. We have a rough schedule coming up...and if we don't win soon, you can kiss the play-offs good bye: DUH! What's wrong with our media! Stop reporting this as legitimate news. Everyone knows we have a tough schedule before January...lots of West Coast swings, etc. And yes, coming out of a third of the season playing .300 ball will tend not to get you in the play-offs, Atlantic division comedy aside. Can we get on to some serious commentary? My mans put money on the Raptors on an over/under season-win bet (yeeeeeessss Justin...I know, I know, they looked good in the preseason...)...is their any indication he'll not lose duckets? Anything?

I was flipping channels the other day and it landed on the cheapest production on a sports-related TV show-ever mess that Sportsnet actually has the gaul to broadcast. Yeah...you know...when they televise that Fan 590 Radio show. So before my eyes and ears started to outright bleed, I managed to suffer through a segment with an 'esteemed' Dot basketball journalist. I hate to put it on this dude, but why is he talking about dropping Sam (gooood)...to bring in a European coach...like with this year's World Championship outcome and all, we can outsource our coaching problems to foreign talent. It worked for our roster (guuh?).
When will people learn. The NBA is a unique game to all other basketball...and no-one...I mean, nobody that does not have an inside knowledge of this game will ever prove useful as a headcoach to anyone in the Lig. Ever. Unless his assistant coaches began coaching in this stead outright (and then what is he...a puppet head coach?). Yeah, I know it looked all lovely when the U.S. lost to a far less talented team that, clearly, outplayed them in the summer...but try playing that game with NBA rules. Even Coach K wouldn't have messed that up....Greece wouldn't have come within 20.

So our team sucks...and so do our broadcasters and press. how long will it take before long segments (that may actually be useful at first) about this year's stellar draft start popping up on game broadcasts and on Raptors TV, in general. Fire it up...losers.

Rock The Bells: Best Concert Evaahhh….Wait for it…

Lemme finish sighing…

OK….NOT!

Yes, despite Borat’s resuscitating the punch line back to relevancy, it’s an immature and totally played out way of describing a night which was awash with immature displays resulting in the playing out of the audience as a whole. How could a Tuesday night out for some live hip-hop, granted at what is arguably the worst venue in Toronto, go so wrong? To answer this would exhaust all sarcasm and the last strains of naiveté to any well-intentioned seeker of live entertainment, considering the general track record ‘rap ‘concerts have of warranting their ticket cost. So let’s first go to what would have been, to understand what was…

The ‘Rock The Bells’ Tour has been a successfully run enterprise started out on the West Coast, most noted for making the almost impossible happen by bringing together the entire Wu for a show. This year, the tour is being taken nation-wide, and features Redman, Raekwon, freestyle legend Supernatural and hip-hop personality DJ Kool as headliners. Several big acts were signed on to do select dates which included Pharoahe Monch, Smif-N-Wessun, Ghostface Killah and EPMD. Toronto had the good fortune of securing the Boot Camp Cliquers and the vaunted old school duo of Erik And Parrish with their DJ, Scratch, for the Kool Haus show. This also happened to be the only date EPMD was scheduled to perform, so all things considering, it was a rather large coup to be pulled off for the local hip-hop scene. In theory.

As anyone who has any experience with American rap acts coming across to this side of the border to perform knows, half the battle is making sure, well, they get across said border. For a genre of music that often promotes itself by glamourizing their artists’ indiscretions with the law, there may be a conflict of interest in having a given artist try to move about freely across the continent to promote their music while their criminality is publicly celebrated. Law enforcement types tend not to be too cooperative in these situations. You figure promoters would factor this into their concert plans, as far as doing their part to help ensure artists show up, be informed about the process and at the very least, not end up completely misrepresenting themselves and their concert bill…

You see where I’m going with this. Whether due to actual ‘rap’ sheets or the need, in some noticeable way, to submit to substances that would induce rap sheets, Rae, Red and S-N-W were unable to cross the border and would be absent from the Toronto bill: a fact everyone was promptly informed of while lining up outside the venue. Now when the two main headliners are no shows on a tour, one would expect the show would not go on: one absent monkey may not stop the show, but when the top two gorillas take a pass, common sense would dictate that you gots to shut her down. It should be noted that the addition of Tek and Steele to the Toronto date was considered auspicious, if not logical, at first, but their absence was particularly suspect considering they have been all over the Dot for live shows in the past months (I mean, they couldn't get into Canada, now?). However, the show was set to go on based on the strength and overall appeal to see EPMD rehash their catalogue which had ruled the hip-hop landscape about a decade and a half ago.

EPMD happens to be one of those seminal groups in the history of hip-hop and its subsequent development as a force in pop culture. They unabashedly ripped every catchy breakbeat from ‘More Bounce to the Ounce’ to “Blind Alley’ to everything in between, laying a blueprint for future artists to mine beats in a similarly straight-forward fashion with the intent of capturing the audience’s ears. This, in itself, was a throwback to rap’s inception when disco breakbeats were regularly incorporated in even non-party tracks. But while EPMD’s beats were headnoddingly contagious, what caught the headz fancy was the straight forward ruff’n’rugged rhyme style. Erik and Parrish did something that would be almost unheard of today except in the most backpackerish circles: they rhymed about rhyming. It was hip-hop braggadocio at its finest – glancing at their collection of ‘hit’ singles quickly reveals the fundamental nature of the subject matter: ‘You Gots to Chill’, ‘So Watcha Sayin?’, ‘I’m Housin’ and ‘It’s My Thing’ are all classics stemming from their first two albums alone. The time period may have dictated their less marketable image (the taboo of crossing over was the source of their last big hit as a duo), but their Rakim-influenced style grew into something that became singularly EPMD’s own: this distinctiveness and roll call of classic records instantaneously made the group a magnet for rap fans who crave the rawer aesthetic of the early 90’s. Further polarizing the group is their inability (a destiny appeared to be set in stone) to capture the ear of the younger rap audience (who may expect more lyrically out of an artist whether on the idealistic end or more likely on the wildly nihilistic end...), who, no doubt, will find them slightly antiquated in the day and age of a rap star that is number one on the charts with a bullet…or several, imbedded in him.

So while virtually everyone arriving to the concert lamented the loss of the bulk of the bill, there was still the palpable buzz over the feature act, which had stopped by FLOW earlier in the evening to hype the event up further. Like EPMD, the crowd itself was a throwback drawn by the lure of a show featuring early to mid 90’s NYC underground rap or as most anyone in the venue would refer to it as: “real hip-hop”. Upon entry, this theme was reinforced (and further aided by the $5.25 domestic cans...) by the hour and a half of music provided by the house DJ, Starting From Scratch, who systematically ground out a crowd pleasing set (happily avoiding any pre-tense of playing music that could even be remotely considered current) : SFS’s Serato-manipulated quick-mix playlist jumped from classic east coast album to classic east coast album; conspicuously overlooking traditional sounding West Coast artists…I guess he left that DVD of joints at home (as per the memo). The crowd had no problem with any omissions, and seemed to be encouraged in their status as classically-trained headz by their relative knowledge of Slick Rick and Doug E Fresh standards (apparently, in the Dot, you know hip-hop if you are familiar with the first couple of verses to La Di Da Di).

A local act ‘Crown O’ Thornz’ a tri-dreaded group fronted by (former?) FLOW personality J-Wise, stepped up to the stage next and predictably failed to move the crowd. Unfortunately, the poor sound system and acoustics matched with the audience’s lack of familiarity with the group’s material was too much to overcome. However, to their credit, the group soldiered on through its set to a conscious vibe that appeared to capture a portion (albeit smaller) of the people’s attention: I had previously seen COT perform as an opening act to KRS-One at a much smaller venue and came away impressed in general, but the combination of Kool Haus and a crowd composed from a community that tends to look down upon its home grown performers (i.e. performers without a tangible ‘hit’) all but assured a general indifference to their set.

But while spirits were still somewhat optimistic when DJ Kool hit the stage, things looked like they were gonna take a turn for the worse as he clumsily admitted that he only had two songs to perform, one of which was supposed to be supported by an absent Redman. So Kool launched into his ‘hit’, ‘Let Me Clear My Throat’ the breakbeat heavy, hype-man call-and-response record that has been used as filler for party DJ’s since its inception: an odd ‘song’ to ‘perform’. Although the end result could have been borderline pathetic, the artist’s stage presence was enough to win over the crowd (with the panache of a savvy crackhead), as the people of the Dot have been known to give an American the benefit of the doubt (to which one might respond by pointing to the lack of charisma demonstrated by the average Canadian DJ/performer...). Kool proceeded to spin a warbily constructed set of 90’s and late 80’s hip-hop standards (that cracky goodness), often putting the crowd on its defensive by challenging their knowledge of his selections (crackhead ribbing), a fact that had been mostly proven during the previous and somewhat similar SFS set (crackhead obliviousness). Again, when all was said and done, the crowd seemed appeased in general. Even with the overlap of content, it was all good music. And DJ Kool had successfully defended his inclusion on the bill.

When the first real ‘headliner’ Supernatural appeared, he succeeded in realizing the near impossible: appeal to the crowd without possessing any clearly recognizable material. Supernat won by cleverly drawing on the ‘true school’ vibe and performing a series of impressive freestyles. The final two involved building a song around three words selected at random by the crowd (poison, camouflage and clitoris – which, not surprisingly, produced the most rousing verse) and then jumping into the crowd to build a freestyle around items that were brought to his attention by the people around him. Clearly not eager to engage the crowd in some of his recorded material, Supernat wisely left on a high, and the audience was appreciative before settling into an anticipation for the final act.

So what really could go wrong, now? At this point, virtually everyone in the crowd would have been placated by even the most basic recital of the classic catalogue that made this show such a desired ticket to begin with – even the absence of the would-be-headliners could have been compensated by Erik and Parrish’s set, not to mention DJ Scratch, who ranks amongst the top of the heap of performance DJ’s. With the Emcing and DJing elements of hip-hop covered, surely this crowd of headz would be satiated by even the most rote of performances.

Well, we didn’t really get to find out. I mean, really. During a prolonged set-up period of DJ Scratch’s equipment, a faceless protester/coward managed to land a half-full Heineken bottle (one of those streamlined new-look joints) right on the mixer of the bewildered Scratch (barely missing him), who predictably (and, depending on who you spoke to, appropriately) lost it. Unfortunately, no attempt was made to apprehend the offending vagrant as an enraged Scratch’s ultimatum of vanquishing said trouble-maker would never be fulfilled: consequently he never returned to the stage. Sadly, I had really looked forward to his portion of the act, but now the entire performance was in jeopardy. A little more than half and hour later, Erik and Parrish appeared on stage to what had become an increasingly hostile crowd. With the crowd momentarily subdued, it was explained that the DJ set-up was, for intents and purposes, null and void, as was Scratch…thus, a performance was to be pieced together with any instrumentals that the house DJ’s happened to possess (P-Plus was a trooper): which happened to be those of their two biggest hits (‘You Gots To Chill’ and ‘So Watcha Saying?’) and the Marvin Gaye-jacked Sermon single from a few years back, ‘Music’. Then, as they say, ‘jam done’.

A combined two plus hours of classic hip-hop, a local opening act, a 40 minute free-styling whirling dervish, and a roughly two and a half song EPMD set wasn’t exactly what the crowd was expecting when they dropped their ‘half a bill’ on what had appeared to be a promising expenditure of cash. Funnily, I still have mixed emotions, even though you’d figure it’d be all negative at this point: maybe, somehow, deep-down, I believe a refund is coming. I can’t, however, shake the feeling of being seriously ripped off by whoever was the local organizer of the show, as their inability (or unwillingness?) to handle the most predictable of rap concert pratfalls displayed a shocking lack of accountability. Even Erik and Parrish themselves, at least made an attempt (however lame) to show good faith and try to appease the crowd (and fulfill ‘contractual’ obligations), with the organizers seemingly helpless to ensure a proper show. There already seemed to be a subtle distaste from the performers over the ‘fickle’ nature of even this ‘true school-ish’ crowd, as shared by some comments made between house DJ SFS and impromptu hype-man/Dot Hip-Hop Ambassador Kardinal Offishall, not to mention a call to attention to disrespectful audience members thrown out by DJ Kool: the bottle incident just sealed the entire notion. When things started falling apart upon the flying of a bottle, the folks on stage were quick to call out the infamous Dot ‘Crabs-in-a-Barrel’ mentality, those that ‘Don’t-know-how-to-act’ inevitably ruining it for everybody not to mention putting a black eye on the city’s ‘rep’. Really shoulda added the ubiquitous ‘American-dick-riding’ tendencies of said crowd to complete that cypher. What really would have helped, tho, was if someone with a mic could have commanded some sort of respect – from the audience and vex performers. Not not looking at you Taboo…if that is your real name (might I suggest ‘Orange sweater wearing bastard’, if that might not seem too harsh…).

Regardless of how bad things de-evolve, the nature of a crowd doesn’t excuse a poorly put together show, that at best, still would have been a sorry misrepresentation of what coulda been. Can you really expect a crowd not to have a building sense of hostility when they arrive at a concert only to find three (!) of the main acts AWOL? I guess I had this coming; the KRS-One concert I alluded to earlier was an impossibly hype, impossible intimate, incredibly enduring affair. Complaints about the Dot scene aside (warranted and unwarranted), it’s on the organizers of these shows to ensure a decent product, which in theory will go towards winning over a fickle audience. Regardless, we’ll just have to chalk this promotional disaster to the Bush theory: set me up for the jooks once, shame on y’all…if you get my support again…I’m an idiot and can’t complain about the messed up Iraq situation/terrible concert…uh…yeah. Hell, I just want my fifty bucks back…Don? Hook that up…or has all our good fortune been spent on Rishi duping the ride program? Ah well…so it goes. I guess this is just a case of ‘Strictly Business’…or is it ‘Business Never Personal’? Always get those ones confused...