New Jersey Nets = Fergie

Over the first two games of the Raptors playoff series against the Nets, I have taken to referring to New Jersey as being a bunch of roaches: mostly for their ability to flourish in the ugliest of possible environments and their seemingly natural stubborn unwillingness to ‘die’ or at least for the moment, fold. Naturally, the metaphor is unflattering and possibly a little too vague, so perhaps another can be introduced to better illustrate this tendency for the Nets to be successful at perpetuating ugly play, an ugliness that goes unnoticed by a good portion of the masses, who mistake their somewhat seductive exterior (their two All-Stars forming the corner stones of the ‘Big 3’) as something of inherent worth. You wonder what these people see in NJ, possibly not bothering to take a closer look at what they appear to admire, because if they did…

And then it struck me: the New Jersey Nets are…"Fergilicious".

Some of you expect this to bring sexy back...no, really.

Yes, the collective face of this team, that notable troika of Kidd, Carter and Jefferson appear to impress – I mean, two of them have been all-stars for years and all are former Olympians (a different type of All-Star team). But let’s look a little closer…

Kidd can still pass and run an offense: in fact, he is the only person on the roster with that capacity. I’ll make this brief…the man cannot stay in front of anybody defensively and can only score in the most negligent defensive moments that any defense may extend to him. It’s a joke how deficient these areas of his game are: there’s only so much the metaphorical photoshop can do (zone defense and constant reaching ignored by refs and wide, WIDE open threes on the other end…thanks Lawrence) to make this guy look good here. Game 2 is a good bet to be his best scoring game of the entire series, which amounted to – 14 points on 5-14 shooting? Not so pretty…

Ah, Vince. What more can I say that hasn’t been already experienced by any Toronto basketball fan in the past decade. Still, the mental fragility he displays at this stage of his career boggles the mind: even I was surprised how shook Vince has appeared in the ACC – it’s like he’s half man, half-way crook (if there were such a thing…). Even when he makes the effort to try and assert himself on offense, all it takes is one miss and he looks ready to break out in tears. I’ll just leave it at this: somebody please give dude a hug…

"Please, whatever you do...don't funk with my heart..."

Over his career, RJ seems to have gotten more than his fair share of the NBA media machine's hype without really doing that much to distinguish himself on the court. His defensive game seemed to propell his reputation as a two way player, however it's his offensive game that is basically flawed, stained by that less than steady jumper (playing beside Kidd is a good way to look better as a shooter tho). Even his strength appears to be a mirage, as I can’t recall seeing a player in the NBA that takes more advantage of that skip step when going to the basket…it’s like he’s unable to not travel. But that’s Jefferson; he’s someone who needs to be enabled to be effective (witness non-existent defense played on him in Game 1). I still don’t know how he made that ’02 Olympic roster, but the fact that he hasn’t been invited to the latest installment of U.S. national team shows where his career trajectory is headed. One thing that will be clear by the end of this series:

Anthony Parker >>> Richard Jefferson

In short, the Nets' version of winning basketball is a fugly one. They expect to ride their flawed ‘Big 3’ to victory, something which will only happen if their opponents play poorly, at best (the Raptors have had a combined 31 assists as a team in the first two games: that total was a typical stat for an average game in February). This whole discussion is really moot, because the Nets can’t possibly have any serious pretensions about winning a championship with this squad: unreasonable doesn’t begin to describe that thought. Putting NJ next to any true contender, is like put Fergie next to any true singer. Or genuinely attractive woman. Both will be exposed. Some folks will be resigned to this reality and some just won’t want to hear it. Either way, in the end, you know that it won’t be pretty.

Nuff said.

Now that Sam Mitchell is officially coach of the year, it's seems even more odd that it's been generally accepted that Lawrence Frank will be setting to pace as far as strategic maneuvering and other coaching posturing. So the best Raptor fans can hope for is to have Sam to properly manage the rotation (poor in Game 1, much better in Game 2...it still matters) and inspire some of the underwhelming performers of this series to step up (Bargnani and, sigh, Joey Graham). But figuring out a double-teaming scheme of the post other than the most basic one that leaves the passer with a wide open look; unlikely. And funnily enough, typical to Sam, he’s completely unapologetic about this: while contrasting Frank and Mitchell, this reporter refers to such X’s and O’s as ‘overcoaching’. Funnily, seeds of doubt still seem to lay in the shadows of Mitchell’s career as Raptor coach, with a bidding war looming for Sam’s services. Colangelo could definitely use this as an out should he seem to think that the Raps need a coach with slightly higher tactical acumen to take them to the next level. I may be in the minority here, but I believe that’s a very important card left to play, and for once in this team’s lifetime I can honestly say my trust in our GM’s decision-making is absolute. But for now, it’s like the song goes: “you got to love the one you’re with…” Especially when your common enemy is fug.