A Weekend Recap of How Folks Got Knocked Out without Getting Knocked Down, Bloodied without Taking a Decision and Just Plain Dominated

So the fight of the year came and went, as some boxing actually took place once the hoopla and shenanigans had finally subsided. I know that last statement may sound antiquated, but the pre-fight hype had reached vaudevillian levels, as probably one of the few things that actually made sense was the arrival of Mayweather to the ring in a sombrero and poncho (a nod to his uncle, the former ‘Mexican Assassin’) ultimately putting an exclamation point on the bizarre crescendo of multiple subplots.
Once the posturing had ceased, Floyd took off his actor’s hat and went from ‘bad guy’ to ‘boxer with no current peer’ as he dismantled De La Hoya one punch at a time, literally, while picking off anything his opponent threw. It can only be considered ironic how Oscar’s most crowd-pleasing moments during the fight were little more than Hollywood-style flurries that posed no danger to Junior. The sometimes there-sometimes not jab was the Golden Boy’s best punch of the night: a bad sign because his vaunted left hook was no where to be found. But as futile as De La Hoya’s aggression was, it was the primary reason there was a tempo to the fight at all, one that must have disappointed boxing industry overseers with its lack of blood and knockdowns, especially those pinning their hopes on this event as a jump off to spark a boxing revival amongst a rapidly dwindling audience.

"This is for hiring my dad...and then letting him, uh...quit."

Does there need to be a Pretty Boy-Golden Boy II…hardly. While impressive to only those who could appreciate the subtleties of the considerable technical skill Mayweather displayed in shutting down an experienced fighter, even the lay person could see De La Hoya was clearly outclassed. Only an overwhelmingly shady judge with a mandate kept this fight from being a unanimous decision and HBO did its best to work the angles, cumulating in an awkward admission by a Predator-looking Mayweather Sr. that De La Hoya did, in fact, win the fight on the basis of his fruitless aggression. The only outspoken voice of sanity on the entire broadcast was talking head/boxing savant Max Kellerman who not only took to task the judge who awarded De La Hoya the fight, but also spoke against his colleagues’ cheap shots concerning the skill and practical ability of MMA fighters. I’m sure the head of HBO boxing would almost be moved to anger at these less than pro-boxing comments…but he’s got some problems of his own to deal with.

Meanwhile, an upset did occur on the weekend, in a winner-take-all-bout only this time the man guaranteeing the victory was left once again in tears…

"I'd like to thank my teammates and coaches for cockblocking me once again...oh yeah, I said I wouldn't blame them this year...sheeeeeeeeee-it."

I know it’s a cheap shot, but for Houston to cop out in a Game 7 at home is clearly a disturbing landmark for the team. Maybe not as tragic as their Texas neighbours in the ‘D’, but upheaval in Rocketland is imminent, down to the premature reports of Van Gundy’s departure. So is this Tracy’s fault? Certainly his comments about this being his best chance to advance deep into the Playoffs didn’t help, all but absolving those around him. And sure, avoiding San Antonio, Phoenix and Dallas (RIP) till the Conference Finals did look good in theory. But this would ignore the obvious (and I don’t mean those of you who want to heap scorn on the slow jumping Yao), the roster has big flaws. And to all those who thought Luther Head was the answer at shooting guard…maybe this series was a dose of reality for you. Don’t be surprised if Larry Brown starts circling over this carcass…he was never one for etiquette.

Right now, the Spurs-Suns series is looking like a Championship Lite series. You think Nash coulda loaned some blood for the Mayweather-De La Hoya fight? San Antonio definitely pulled off a coup by getting the early win in Phoenix, and the fact that they won a game that was played north of 100 actually added to its impressiveness. Despite the Sun’s inability to consistently defend Tony Parker, I really felt that the difference in the game was Stoudemire’s inability to consistently finish at a high percentage around the rim. Duncan is ornery as ever, and his glowering at the refs rivals anything Mr. Burns ever did in his most inspired moments of evil: Amare’s gonna have to be able to score around the basket without relying on getting free throws. On the flip side for Phoenix, the Spurs will not be able to continue scoring at the Game 1 pace throughout the series: the Suns have to keep future games in the 100s to get their wins.

Who can say whose glower is more potent...

Tonight, everyone will see how Golden State fairs against a team it’s not seemingly designed to beat. Utah has a low post presence and a structured offense…Boozer might average 30 and 15 for the series. But that may not even matter if Baron and Co. continue to run and attack, however, I get the feeling they will need Al Harrington this series. Regardless, it should make for some interesting ball…well, unless Utah imposes a Sloan-esque pace to the games. Then Cuban might have that heart attack for real…