The Return of A and B Music Reviews

It’s been a minute, but we’re back with the A and B music reviews. However, this time around we’ve solicited the opinion of Mr. C, the resident R&B expert who has put the breaks on his soccer career and relocated out to California. While being a lover of all types of music, Mr. C has an unmatched pedigree when it comes to knowledge of contemporary Rhythm and Blues: there is not a Troop, Tevin Campbell or Horace Brown song that he can’t warble off key while correlating it to the female he was with at the time and the pertinent event in the relationship that the song is associated with. Trust, it was only a matter of time before Dotrunnings asked him to contribute to this segment. As for the fans of Mr. B, don’t worry, you’ll see him back at the helm sooner than later. And management promises to work half-heartedly at squashing any potential beef between reviewers.
So on with the current show, as we have targeted a couple of R&B songs and a few hip hop songs (plus one ‘interlude’) that have all been recently released for the summer. And now they're colour co-ordinated: take it away, fellas.

Keyshia Cole feat. Lil Kim and Missy – Let it Go
http://www.zshare.net/audio/2140849e128a53/

Mr. A: This is her new buzz single doing the whole ‘Juicy’ interpolation. I don't know about Missy reprising her sexed-up hype woman thing. Did they really need her on this?

Mr. C: Here we go again, another chick anthem.

Mr. A: Chick anthem, I guess that's Missy. She like women...who like women...who like women...

Mr. C: Lol. Honestly, I was not feeling this in the least. I'm usually okay with Keisha too, but wow, not here. I mean, it will get played in the club, and the 14 year old chicks will love it.

Mr. A: I'm with you, tho. There's nothing particularly interesting about this, and the 14 year old girls won't even get the Juicy theme...

Mr. C: It’s sad. But my question to you is this: Do you think that Mr. and Mrs. Becks knew that their son from Leytonstone, England would ever get in an R&B song?

Mr. A: I know...I know....Lil’ Kim and her ghostwriter: always on point with the pop culture.

Mr. C: She actually said, "Kick em' all straight to the curb like Beckham." Wow. And did I not tell you that he would get called back to the England team? You really need to start listening to me more.

Mr. A: So now Lil’ Kim's up on his England status? Did she hear about Aaron Lennon's injury too? If Lennon is healthy, Beckham will not play, bottom line. The England press is already trashing the MLS for its inferior quality of soccer and they sure as hell don't want to see an England national playing there.

Mr. C: It doesn’t matter: he has been the most dominant player at Real, as of late. (Mr. A shakes his head with dismay at the bold yet pointlessly groundless nature of the previous statement) I'm actually rooting for him.

Editor’s note: Beckham ends up setting up England’s only goal during a 1-1 draw in last Friday’s Friendly with Brazil. Mr. C is all about vindication.

Mr. A: Well, this sums up my feeling about the song: it makes me want to start thinking about something else...anything else.

Mr. C: I agree. Can we move on? Please!

Mr. A: Yes...but I'll say this one last thing about Keyshia: she's gotta be up there as far as artists who benefit from studio “enhancing’’ - and that's saying a lot.

Mr. C: Yeah, that is saying A LOT!

Lauryn Hill – Loose Myself:
http://www.zshare.net/audio/2140828e216b52/

A: Another unattached single that has popped up featuring L Boogie speaking on her obsession of past minute...the other side of love. Somebody needs to give this woman several year's worth of hugs...

C: Sounds like old Stevie meets Jackson 5 to me. It’s different for Lauryn Hill, but fuck, she finally seems somewhat happy. I like it though.

A: I think this has that 80's rock sound going for it, with the heavy guitar and all. But you’re absolutely right, at least there's some promise of redemption here. Sounds like she's finally getting back on her feet and moving away from those depressing acoustic numbers.

C: Exactly, I was waiting for something really tragic, but she managed to steer away from it. I liked it. It didn't blow me away, but I can see it really growing on me.

A: So who do you think she's speaking on...Wyclef, still, or the Marley dem?

C: Wow, for her sake, I hope it's that Marley Cat.

A: Yeah, but at least Wyclef was good for something. This ain't no ‘Miseducation’ or 'Score' Lauryn...but it's a move in the right direction. And, it's thumbs up for marriage: “lose myself to get better”. Married folks take heart - L Boogie says you going to be alright! Lord knows it’s been tough on her.

Kanye West - Can’t Tell Me Nothing:
http://www.sendspace.com/file/blx1s1

A: this is either the buzz single or first single from his next installment, Good Ass Job, or whatever comes after College Dropout…

C: Repay Loans.

A: OSAP blues.

C: “Procrastinate for years/ trying to figure out what you really want to do in life…" S’up L.

A: WOW. Calling out Mr. B? Beef really doesn’t come with a radio edit.

C: Haha, I'm playing. He came through. (Ed: with questionable sincerity) L is the man!

A: Personal biz, aside: I think this is an interesting choice for back on the scene music. It’s the return of introspective Kanye!

C: I wasn't crazy about this. It was typical Kanye, but not his best stuff. My sources tell me the instrumental was from a Thom Yorke (Radiohead) beat.

A: You know Kanye couldn’t stay away from his sampler…Really tho; I'm glad he didn't come out with something jig for the clubs or whatever...it could be a lot worse. I still get the shakes from that flammable single he did with Pharrell. I can almost accept this song on that principle alone.

C: Yeah, I'm okay with this. It has a "grow on me" potential. But that ‘Number 1’ joint was wrong. Shoulda never have happened. In general, I like Kanye. A lot more than I'd like. I think he is mad talented.

A: I was gonna look at reviewing the remix with Jeezy, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it...

C: Way to restrain yourself.

A: Thanks. Self control wins. Everytime.

C: It really does. Kids take note.

A: As a lyricist, Kanye's able to put that unabashedly materialistic, all-everybody crew, “This is why I'm hot” stuff out there, yet still be self-effacing about it. He tempers his jackassed-ness with perspective and honesty. All you rapper kids can take note of that. Regardless of what Beanie Sigel says about his fashion decisions.

C: Kanye is nice. I think he will be around for a long time: his shit is kinda timeless. God knows his samples are.

A: Yeah, he got that good taste.

C: Haha, he really does.

A: A passing grade for the new Kanye. No stars and shit, but some upside.

Fabolous feat. Jay-Z and Uncle Murda – Brooklyn:
http://www.zshare.net/audio/2140884b1587d1/

A: We might be some controversy here...

C: I know what this is going to be by the way you set it up.

A: Hold on son, let me get the DJ Clue sound effects...”NEW SHIT...NEW SHIT....new shit....”

C: HAHA

A: “F-A-B-O....JIGGA...Jigga...igga…” And Shawn’s new signing, some dude named Uncle Murda (cough)…natch. It's the anthem...”BROOK-LYYYYYYYYYN!“

C: So let’s feud.

A: I’ll go as far to say, they almost got this right. Because I'm not mad at the track...Biggie sample...moog organ... they even used the Big Beat - 99 Problems and such...

C: Ok, wow. Are we actually going to agree here?

A: But the shout out? It sounds like they need more people. That's the weakest 'Brooklyn’ I ever heard: it’s like folks in Scarborough do it better. They really need to…

C: ANTE UP!! Lol.

A: They shoulda got MOP for this!

C: “Spread love the Brooklyn way/ B how’s it feel?/ I’m on my Robin Thicke shyt/ Shyt eva gets thick/ back to robbin’ n@ggas quick/…..trick…click…ante up.” Listen, Jay did it. He has not fallen off. He should just stay away from the Beyonce duets (Ed: Don't forget his sidepiece, Rihanna).

A: I really think Jay got a Def Jam intern to write his verse. Seriously. That Robin Thicke line....that was fire? It’s a good line: for an intern. Shawn sounds he doesn't even care anymore. He was probably in Monaco or something and thought: 'Maybe I should throw one of my rap artists a verse...' It’s a marketing strategy now.

C: Fuck it. I was desensitized by the time I got to this track! Lil’ Kim said: "Kick him to the curb like Beckham" This was genius compared to that!

A: So you're comparing Lil’ Kim to Jay? Jay used to write the best stuff Lil’ Kim ever said. Oh wait, the second best stuff - after B.I.G. And you know Biggie woulda killed this if he were around...

C: I'm not comparing, I'm just saying. I miss B.I.G.! But Jay has this cadence. He can say whatever and sound nice.

A: He just sounds like he's given up. Even his flow was like, meh.

C: Well, there you go. This is why you’re the Hip-Hop head, and I'm the R&B dude. Excuse me while I go play “10 Crack Commandments” now.

A: What, no Reasonable Doubt? Blueprint?(sighs)Black Album?

C: On second thought, I'm going to play some Jodeci, Fuck all of you!

A: HAHA! Wow. And there you have it. That's the only reason you were gased on that Robin Thicke line: he shouted out your boy!

C: Lol. Yes he did. And Fab was ok on this, I'm alright with Fab.

A: I was gonna say. You can't blame Fab on this one: Fab did F-A-B-O. Still, it amazes me how he can keep coming up with those cute little retarded lines. Just when you think he's all outta foolishness and he says stuff like: "Phantom opens up like two door fridges..." Wow. He missed his chance to rhyme it with Todd Bridges, tho...

C: LOL. He’s no JAY. And Rooney ain’t Ronaldo, but they can play on the same pitch.

A: I guess there’s no point bringing up that Uncle Murda dude. (Ed: Uncle Murda = Alan Smith in aforementioned Man U analogy?) But I’ll say this about him: at least it sounded like he tried. So we done here. In my opinion, it was a lost opportunity. There still is potential for a massive remix, I can think of a couple Brooklyn emcees that could make that happen. Plus, it’ll give Shawn another shot to do this justice...

C: Fine. But I guarantee you, the masses will be quite okay with his verse.

A: Masses = Jay-Z stans. For Fab, it is what it is. His joint with Ne-Yo is burning up NYC anyways...

C: Speaking of which, Ne-Yo is the truth. He really is. Dude is mad talented.

A: NEXT SONG!

Remy Ma – Phone Sex Message:
http://www.zshare.net/audio/21408385765306/

A: Ok, really quick…

C: WOW. Anyone who knows me, knows how I feel about this. Nuff said.

A: I'm just saying….it sounds like it could be an exchange up in Rikers. There's a lot of husk to that voice, still.

C: I just want to know if Fat Joe wrote that for her, or she came up with it herself?

A: Haha, you know Fat Joe hasn’t written anything since ‘Flow Joe’. Big Pun was writing for both of them. Honey was messing with your boy Juelz SAN-TAN-A. Maybe he felt safe in her arms...

C: Alright, fuck this. Let’s get to that next song.

Lil’ Mama – Lip Gloss:
http://www.zshare.net/audio/2140863d2c42e8/

A: Have at it, Cali representor.

C: Really, man. That song, I got some strong views on that shit. Ok, here it goes: this will be a banger. It will be something that will get love in the club - cut up this shit into ‘Tipsy’ and let the Patron flow. I hate to admit it but when I’m buzzed; this may actually be a guilty pleasure. I feel like I need to listen to some Stevie now to regain my senses. I feel like…I got tricked into feeling this. WOW. I’m so disappointed in myself! It's the beat, it’s so…simple.

A: Yeah. The hand claps are catchy. I had this stuck in my head for 3 days last week.

C: It’s fucked, right?

A: I didn't know whether I wanted to get down or choke myself out. But as the days got longer, I was leaning to the latter.

C: “Errr-body in the club get TIPSY!!!”

A: Yeah...Grinding...Tipsy. And now…Lip Gloss. Cuz, it’s poppin’!!?

C: I’m saying! After about 6 shots, if a DJ were to blend this into something without me realizing, I WILL WALK IT OUT!

A: I have to smile because she almost sounds like she's trying to spit. If only Shawn could muster that sort of energy...

C: Lol.

A: Broooooook-lyyyyyyyn. Brooooooooook- lyyyyyyyn.

C: HAHA. Whatever.

A: So basically you're saying you like the track. Are you saying you think you could win up in the club with this?

C: I'm saying, "I did not have sexual relations with Ms. Lewinsky!"

A: Wow. This is why I holla at Mr. C. He puts honesty above all else!

C: HAHA!

A: So again, what you're saying is, that off the record...the joint is -

C: YES, OFF THE RECORD!

A: The joint isssssssss...

C: I AM OKAY WITH IT ;)

A: But is it…POPPIN’? Say it!!!

C: Dude, I live in West Hollywood. I refuse to answer that question.

A: Saaaaaaaay it…

C: Lol, is she cute?

A: Yeah...for American standards. Meaning she light-skinned, big eyes with the coloured-contacts. Accessorized to win with the current beauty standards enforced by the media.

C: OK, I’ll say this: I wouldn’t go as far as saying it’s POPPIN’, but it does crackle.

A: Go figure. Seeing as we’ve already gone through the snappin’ phase…

C: And that’s a wrap!

A: Yes it is. And you love Lil’ Mama!!! If only Jay could get on that remix! Then it’d be even mo’ POPPIN’!!!

C: Haha. Fool. Besides, you know I love your mama.

A: Damn, why’d it have to be like this? That’s messed up. I hope security violently kicks you out the club just as you trying to walk it out while niced up off Patron and they end up scuffing up your brand new kicks. All while they playing this song!