The L.A. Rap Up – The Unrelenting Search For Cool Continues...

So I’m back from the West Coast, specifically the west side of Hollywood and I can happily report that Kordo has successfully made the transition from Dot gwanings to the more languid social climbs of L.A. Spending a week and half around various writers, actors and comedian-types, most of whom are either newish to scene or entrenched and on the come up, I can honestly say I’ve had my fill of the alternate lifestyle that fame-chasing encompasses.
When confronting those obstinate show business barriers, the fight and consequent transition from putting out work/finding work to being recognized for your talent to, ultimately, being compensated for said talent is a struggle known and shared intimately by Los Angelinos. It seems even the less glamorous Joe 9-to-5ers harbor pretensions of infiltrating the industry and you can’t go into a coffee shop in the vicinity of Hollywood without seeing a plethora of would-be screenwriters attempting to bang out their proverbial lottery ticket on an ibook.
While from a distance, it may seem like fame is the primary motivating force for the city (‘Did ya see anyone famous?’ is the most predictable of questions to anyone coming back from the L.A. experience), and maybe to the painfully naïve, the question of artistry and talent may eventually arise. But really, it doesn’t take long to figure out that, unsurprisingly, money is the supreme king-maker: the excess of wealth in L.A. is at times staggering. And that’s not to say having money even impresses out here – sure, it helps a bunch, but the most desired commodity is the ability to make money. That’s what differentiates the range of alphabetized celebrities and the behind-the-scenes move makers. Whether or not you are in front of a camera, if your projects make money you will always have a job, a reservation and a place on the VIP list.
While fame is a much cruder social determiner, even those at the top of the social heap are ever-cognizant of the next big thing.

Enter David Beckham.

Hollywood's newest power couple

Last weekend, while I was enjoying a more grass-roots form of live entertainment (alas, of the poleless variety), a surprising number of A-list types welcomed the arrival of Becks to L.A for his first game as an MLS player. It was a painfully anti-climatic beginning with his new club, the Galaxy, as scores of actors, media whores (I see you, Longoria – siding up to Posh in the VIP box, captive to the bittersweet irony of marrying a genuine star athlete who just happens to ply his trade in a media black hole. Probably makes that whole French-thing extra harder to deal with…) and forgotten 80’s British rockers witnessed the non-event that was the Saturday evening exhibition match against Chelsea (Real Salt Lake wasn’t available, apparently). Beleaguered, unknowing fans attempted to cheer through Beckham’s 12 minute performance of limited touches culminating with him falling victim to an unceremonious two-footed slide tackle by a young, unknown substitute who will be destined to never see first-side soccer for Chelsea this year.

When is marrying the Playoff MVP the social equivalent to marrying a Laker back-up? When he raps in French and plays in San Antonio

With the dubious introductory performance behind him, Tom Cruise and Will Smith hosted an invite-only soiree welcoming the English media darling the following night, attended by a group of celebrities who clearly have no clue of Becks previous on-field exploits, never-mind the imminent career back-slide he is destined to suffer through. So why would a faux-star soccer player be feted by the Hollywood elite? (granted, some members of the L.A. rap community, that in the British Press' estimation are probably quite hard, have been inexplicably less generous) What could possibly be the motivation fueling the social politics of this bizarre movement? We all know son is pretty. (hey, it’s a more compelling rationale than marrying a Spice Girl alone) More convincingly, there is going to be some natural curiosity even to the point of slight deference to anyone who has the immediate attention of the world media, not to mention England following his every move. But really, Beckham’s power lies in the wonderment of his quarter of a billion dollar contract, the overwhelming majority lying in a variety off field endorsements that takes cross-promotional, marketing-synergy to an unprecedented level. Becks' money-making potential has been validated by corporate America. Now everyone wants a piece by association (except maybe Tom Cruise, who might literally…uh…want a piece). You may think all the Lohans and pseudo-heiresses floating around the priciest of real estate may be devoid of any sort of worth other than what they are given (whether by mega rich family or movie studio, enablers come in many forms), but in L.A., they are indisputable money generators: even if its only for the sleazy or struggling club promoter trying to get some buzz. Beckham has now joined their ranks, albeit playing to the marketing fantasies of the taste-makers within big business. I guess it was only a matter of time before this happened (with the impending jail time looming, I'd love to know how Vegas would handicap this...).

Unfortunately, while there maybe some carry-over to the 'Beckham phenomenon' in the short-term, son is destined to be discarded on the scrap-heap of short-lived Hollywood trends like so much Goonies merchandise. This may sound harsh but this is the reality of the meritocracy of professional sports: unlike Hollywood where you can rise to the top for deading the bad guys real good or having an unfettered willingness to publicly display your killer rack. Beckham is the anti-Kobe: a really nice, relatively well-adjusted team player with no ability to dominate a game. Don’t expect to see Jack Nicholson out by Galaxy’s Carson stadium anytime soon…

"You can never be me...ask LeBron."

David Beckham will get over for now on the sheer exoticism he exudes to an unknowing audience. Sadly, the subtleties of his talent are clearly beyond said audience, and will no doubt provide more fuel to the anti-soccer agenda gleefully carried out by the Jim Romes of the mainstream sports media in the U.S. The fact Becks has been so eagerly co-signed by Hollywood will merely antagonize the aforementioned commentators, who will eagerly attribute the over-hype to some plot hatched by the manipulative liberal forces that run L.A.; the same shadowy figures that hypocritically drive the entertainment industry to produce moral-less trash for a viewing public at record profits while criticizing the government and its wars. You may have thought it was impossible to use soccer to villainize George Clooney, but Fox News sure didn’t.